And More;

NastNast Posts: 127
edited September 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Ground, you're making this harder than it should have been,
with your rises and your falls.
There were a million pleading eyes beckoning
and yes, I felt their breath upon my neck
and yes, I didn't turn around and tell them to back off
and yes, I fell short of all those expectations
so why couldn’t your path be more trodden?

Sky, you're making this harder than it should have been,
with your brightness burning and relentless raining,
There were times my shout did not escape my mouth to warn you my limits
and yes, I have a line that can be crossed
and yes, I never let myself be bothered when it is
and yes, I let myself be walked upon
so why couldn’t you weather me something pleasant?

Seas, you're making this harder than it should have been,
with your tidal waves and tsunamis.
I threw every piece of gold into the ocean just to watch the moon glisten off them as they sank into the depths of,
A soul.
and yes, I believed in so much more,
and yes, You believed in so much more
and yes, You couldn't have loved better
and yet, I couldn't have loved you more.

Words said were young, innocent, and carefully chosen,
and looking back all I hear and remember is how real it was and how really loving.

You were my ground, my sky, and my seas,
And more.
The king of run on sentences...
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    AMAZING,Nast.Did it take a long time to write?Cause it seems so perfect all around....
    C H E E R S !!!!!!:)
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • NastNast Posts: 127
    Actually... I wrote it really fast, just a bunch of stuff off the top of my head then read it and didn't like it so I came back to it about a week later, did a little rewriting and couldn't figure out how to tie in the last two parts I wrote so I just sorta left them the way they were.
    The king of run on sentences...
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    No...Its perfect in form and creativitity.:)
    Thats the way I like to write...what comes off the top of my head.
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • It has nothing to do with your writing, but where did you get the user name? Nast is my last name, and it is really uncommon. Just curious.
  • NastNast Posts: 127
    I've been using it as my tag since back in 1987... when playing Final Fantasy for the original Nintendo... I needed to decide upon a name for my warrior... inside the instruction booklet they named their warrior Nest, I changed it to Nast as in short for Nasty, and stuck with it ever since.

    Lame eh...
    The king of run on sentences...
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    Nast...
    You copied off of me...now that I think about it.
    You must get your seven licks..:D
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • twin1twin1 Posts: 902
    I really like this one, good read! :)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • twin2twin2 Posts: 894
    I like this one as well. Very nicely written.
  • yes, very well done
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
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