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You Were Wrong (I'm proud of this one)

KovoKovo Posts: 255
edited September 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
You said I'd miss your smile,
You were right,
It'll take awhile.

You said I'd miss "that time when".
You were right,
I'd live it again.

You said I'd miss your voice.
You were right,
But you made the choice.

You said I'd miss your curls.
You were right,
They meant the world.

You said I'd miss your eyes.
You were right,
I can't try to lie.

You said I'd miss our song.
You were right,
Now I sing along.

I'm not sure what I miss most;
Your fear of spiders or your fear of ghosts.
I miss the way you looked at me,
I miss your smile that set me free.
I even miss the way you smell,
Or your face when you gave me hell.
And sometimes I'll even miss your name,
God, the house doesn't feel the same.

You were wrong about one thing.
You were my everything.
You said that I'd move on,
For once I know you were wrong.
I shouldn't have to fight a battle I'll never win, just to lose those I've never had.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • jammergurljammergurl Posts: 33
    This is good....! It feels good to get it out sometimes...I hope all works out for you. Maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel???
    ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
    I am myself........like you some how.........(Release)
    ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
  • Medicated-GeniusMedicated-Genius Posts: 359
    Kovo wrote:
    You said I'd miss your smile,
    You were right,
    It'll take awhile.

    You said I'd miss "that time when".
    You were right,
    I'd live it again.

    You said I'd miss your voice.
    You were right,
    But you made the choice.

    You said I'd miss your curls.
    You were right,
    They meant the world.

    You said I'd miss your eyes.
    You were right,
    I can't try to lie.

    You said I'd miss our song.
    You were right,
    Now I sing along.

    I'm not sure what I miss most;
    Your fear of spiders or your fear of ghosts.
    I miss the way you looked at me,
    I miss your smile that set me free.
    I even miss the way you smell,
    Or your face when you gave me hell.
    And sometimes I'll even miss your name,
    God, the house doesn't feel the same.

    You were wrong about one thing.
    You were my everything.
    You said that I'd move on,
    For once I know you were wrong.

    Dude, this is awesome........and so very familiar.
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    this is good, I really like it and its structure.....
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • lovin kindlovin kind Posts: 268
    blue earth at all costs
    thanks to everyone who can read what i write without having to say something mean
  • NothingbetterNothingbetter Wichita, KS Posts: 570
    It flows very nicely. Great job!
    Kansas City 6/12/03 ** Kissimmee 10/9/04 ** Atlantic City 10/1/05 ** Denver 7/2/06 ** Denver 7/3/06 ** Chicago 8/23/09 ** Chicago 8/24/09 ** Kansas City 5/3/10 ** Dallas 11/15/13 ** Oklahoma City 11/16/13 ** St. Louis 10/3/14 ** Tulsa 10/8/14 ** Chicago - Wrigley Field 8/20/16 ** Chicago - Wrigley Field 8/22/16 ** Oklahoma City 9/20/22 ** Ft. Worth 9/15/23

    EV - St. Louis 7/1/11 ** Tulsa 11/19/12
  • Righteous JammerRighteous Jammer Posts: 509
    flows like a stream......love its flow
    It doesnt hurt.... when I bleed
    but memories...they eat me
    I've seen it all before,...
    bring it on cause I'm no victim.
    -Ghost
  • bossman3188bossman3188 Posts: 263
    this is one of the better poems i have read on here lately
    there'll be time for laughin'
    there's no time to cry
    soon i will be leavin'
    look me in the eye
    no matter what's in front of me
    it's your face that i'll see
  • IfGoingRightIsWrongIfGoingRightIsWrong Posts: 18
    Hokey and uninspired. Your rhythm is almost there but dances around too much to be called rhythm. The stanza about the curls is especially insulting in many ways.

    You've got the right idea. Now, go read more poetry so you can begin to execute these things properly.
    If going right is wrong, I don't wanna go right!
  • LeaderOfMenLeaderOfMen Posts: 110
    IfGoingRightIsWrong wrote:
    Hokey and uninspired. Your rhythm is almost there but dances around too much to be called rhythm. The stanza about the curls is especially insulting in many ways.

    You've got the right idea. Now, go read more poetry so you can begin to execute these things properly.

    This guy is kinda an idiot, but has a point about the curls stanza.
    I will make the world a better place...with my own, two hands.
  • KovoKovo Posts: 255
    I wasn't sure if I should have kept the curls part, but it was late and I didn't really care. I rewrote this down in one of my lyric books and it flows a little better. But this one's in my top 10 I think.
    I shouldn't have to fight a battle I'll never win, just to lose those I've never had.
  • twin2twin2 Posts: 894
    I don't see the big issue about the curls. I like it just how it is.
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