Innocent

Kovo

She never knew how much I loved her.
She never knew what hate was for.
She was oblivious.
She was innocent.

I never told her what came to be.
She never knew she set me free.
She was oblivious,
She was innocent.

The day the world caught up, she fell,
Her angel eyes refused to tell.
Innocence realised through pain,
Cold reality is what she gained.
A look to me to set things right,
A hug from me to light the night.
Her first broken heart, but not her last,
She was oblivious,
She was innocent.

I was her constant, always near by
Her protector, a shoulder to cry.
I wanted more, but she never knew,
Wanting to tell, but never going through.
She was oblivious,
She was innocent.

I need to rewrite this and finish it, but I'm posting it here for feedback.

Smurfette

Great poem hunn...You were my shoulder I cried on the other night. haha

riantLoVEsu

That was lovely........

(smiles)

Being Enlightened

Kovo, I like the sentiments and the repetition of the 2 lines, "She was oblivious. She was innocent." It's the structure that seems to need work. You moved from 4 line verses to verses that have more lines, but, it looks like you want to keep the flow of that 4 line structure in order to include the previously mentionned 2 lines in each stanza. I say, keep the 4 line verses. Work with the last 2 stanzas and see if you can't say the same things but worked into that form so it looks good and flows better.