input?

I'm new to this forum...I've actually been reading it for a while but never really felt the need to sign up. Anyways...I was just wondering if I could get some input on this song I wrote...me and my band have already got music to it and everything and it sounds really good...but I was just wondering what people thought of it lyrically.

Fade

As I fade away
I hear the willows as they fall
And as I fade away
I feel the serpent end its crawl

I felt the existence that left me too denied
Leaving the experience I had hoped to find
The cold chill stung nervously in my broken cries
But lonely beginnings of ends I couldn’t hide
Stayed within

Stayed within

Inside is a being that’s kept in a self hated wall
A giant that sleeps to ignore all his countless extraordinary faults
He watches the moon as it slowly drifts past his eyes
A tear forms an ocean that only helps deny
The promise inside
The will to survive
The strength to collide
With all he’s denied

This beast that lies within
A monster of epic proportions
A self proclamation of everything I’ve ever felt
Yet where can I begin this
And who can I trust to keep
Solemnly I can wait
But left deep inside this giant might fall

So righteous the many that judge me
They claim they have eyes to see
But if it were true could they not see the fool within
The unrighteous far in between
They seek out a desolate course
A lonely stride of true sight which might only blind them

But hope takes its toll on many
They hope for a friend to keep
The secrets and treasure and scars that can reach so deep
But of this kind aren’t many
Some wish for a selfish course
And others they claim to be fine while they suffer remorse

So close your tired eyes and see
That everything you wish to be
Can be over thrown if you take this cruel path alone

And lie to yourself to keep
The hope that you still might achieve
The only true solace that glues all your pieces in place

I still have my hope to pray
For someone to help lead my way
I’m still holding on to my one final grip of faith
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • hailhailkchailhailkc Posts: 582
    I like the lyrics a lot! Nice job.
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