Awaiting

Dreams of Red

in the doorway stands the last glance
breathing
it pants
beneath shadows of yesterday's dance

the mood is somber here
patiently unassuming
telephone keeps ringing but you're not there
the doorway is too lonesome tonight

decisions to test a man of love
are haunting at best
in jest
because of their effect to shove

still your pull is stong and enticing too
for thoughts
that wild adventures wait
for the famed arrival of two

Being Enlightened

I liked how the words moved you along from line to line--very nice! I love the first stanza and the subtle rhymes.

"because of their effect to shove

still your pull is strong and enticing too"

Shoving and pulling---that was very effective--you could feel it. Good job!

ISN

'tis good.....that's for sure.....I like it!!!!

Dreams of Red

thank you both! seriously, the enthusiasm is much appreciated. i've been tetering on the brin of insanity for some time now, and these days i'm tetering on the brink of displaying the full extent of it to the public-market in the next month.

anyway, i wrote this one here in a whimsical spot while on the board. it's interesting to me how sometimes the most counter-productive activities can turn-into the most fruitful experiences, if only you look at them right.

so yeah, this one's dedicated to the girl who just seems to want nothing more than to miss the boat.. may she never change.

justam

This one is good.

eden

Dreams of Red wrote:

thank you both! seriously, the enthusiasm is much appreciated. i've been tetering on the brin of insanity for some time now, and these days i'm tetering on the brink of displaying the full extent of it to the public-market in the next month.

anyway, i wrote this one here in a whimsical spot while on the board. it's interesting to me how sometimes the most counter-productive activities can turn-into the most fruitful experiences, if only you look at them right.

so yeah, this one's dedicated to the girl who just seems to want nothing more than to miss the boat.. may she never change.

That was beautiful dreams...where have you been btw?:)

Dreams of Red

eden dear i was worried my evil shenanigans might be casting too thick a shadow over your beautiful garden flora, so ive been trying to lay low and stay out of the sun a bit more than usual.. no worries, i'm just a sucker with low self-esteem so i always come back eventually

thanks for the beautiful word!

you too justam, thanks, very considerate of you indeed.

i think i've got some better one's still in incubation.. gotta get all the bugs out first..

eden

Dreams of Red wrote:

eden dear i was worried my evil shenanigans might be casting too thick a shadow over your beautiful garden flora, so ive been trying to lay low and stay out of the sun a bit more than usual.. no worries, i'm just a sucker with low self-esteem so i always come back eventually

thanks for the beautiful word!

you too justam, thanks, very considerate of you indeed.

i think i've got some better one's still in incubation.. gotta get all the bugs out first..

Would love to see some more
Isnt this an awesome place to unload....

Dreams of Red

eden wrote:

Would love to see some more
Isnt this an awesome place to unload....

well maybe tomorrow i'll actually get some typing done for once!

and yeah, it has its advantages. i love getting feedback and having means to interaction.. i think that is a necessity in the art-making process--i mean one never wants to drift too far from the daily circumstances of reality if one is really serious about art... not that poetry is art or anything.. or something?

bah whatever, im not even sure what i'm saying so don't listen to me.

thanks again for reading my words :):)!!!

eden

Dreams of Red wrote:

well maybe tomorrow i'll actually get some typing done for once!

and yeah, it has its advantages. i love getting feedback and having means to interaction.. i think that is a necessity in the art-making process--i mean one never wants to drift too far from the daily circumstances of reality if one is really serious about art... not that poetry is art or anything.. or something?

bah whatever, im not even sure what i'm saying so don't listen to me.

thanks again for reading my words :):)!!!

Of course poetry is an art form.
The word Art is all encompassing.

Ali

Nice poem.

I'm so used to being alone...
this poem hits home!