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A poem of hope.....

Dylan StoneDylan Stone Posts: 1,145
edited August 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
If I hate the world
Will I feel any better?
Tearing petals off flowers in the sun.

Tattered children laughing
Homeless in the street
I'm hating their world out my window

Hating my world
--my bed
--and my sheets
Imported leather boots
Quite a bargain

As I cover the ant hill
--burn the beautiful web
For the web woven round
My life is a trap

If I smile in the sunshine
Melanoma on my lips
Beautiful red petals
Ripped from my skin

People down the hallway
Smiling venemous grins
As I plant my flowers
In boxes to grow

If tomorrow they have no petals
No lips to smile
The children will still find a way.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • lalalalaaaaaaaalalalalaaaaaaaa Posts: 2,445
    This is fantastic.

    I like the relationship between children and flowers. They symbolize growth to me. I also like relating petals and lips...both are delicate and easily burned. Maybe they can represent a mixture of love and innocence...I'm not sure yet :)

    Looking forward to more of your writing on here, seriously. Excellent stuff.
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    yes it is fantastic
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • Dylan StoneDylan Stone Posts: 1,145
    Thank you both so, so much for the extremely kind words. :)
  • Johnny_NJohnny_N Posts: 60
    Love this one too
  • skinnylegsskinnylegs Posts: 112
    Wonderful! I'm not worthy to be posting in the same thread as you.
    "Those who dance are called insane by people who don't hear the music."
  • Dylan StoneDylan Stone Posts: 1,145
    skinnylegs wrote:
    Wonderful! I'm not worthy to be posting in the same thread as you.

    Wow....I'm not worthy of all these kind, kind words and compliments!

    Thanks to all that have posted on this thread!!
  • macgyver06macgyver06 Posts: 2,500
    to me it took me 20 seconds to realize this a big fuck you to arrogant greedy flowers... i mean assholes ;-) and the children will grow up and be better than us... we can only hope..


    and it goes around again...




    and again



    10 STARS!
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    i like alot! very good. cant wait for more.
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • Dylan StoneDylan Stone Posts: 1,145
    Thank you macgyver06 and the wolf.

    The compliments are are very inspiring!!

    I still think I'll post most of my stuff under my alias;) ...as after all these compliments I don't know if I can live up to this poem. It is CLEARLY one of my favorites...

    Thanks again. :)


    ps-Macgyver06. Thanks for helping me read even more into my own work. I tend to write from my head to my hand...without pause for thought.

    I really appreciate your input. :)

    Those damn flowers! ;)
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    Wow, GTFLYGIRL... After reading your poem from earlier today I decided to go back and read some more from you. You're a really fucking good poet! I never knew what I had been missing... Keep up the good work! :)
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    hey girl... you need to come play here more often. good stuff. :)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • Dylan StoneDylan Stone Posts: 1,145
    scb wrote:
    Wow, GTFLYGIRL... After reading your poem from earlier today I decided to go back and read some more from you. You're a really fucking good poet! I never knew what I had been missing... Keep up the good work! :)

    And it's posted as written by ME and not in "my pen name." :D

    Surprised this was even still floating out there to be found.

    Thanks so much scb and cate!!!!!! xo
  • walden freemanwalden freeman Posts: 511
    The only criticism I can offer is spell "poem" as "pome" and start pronouncing it that way. People think you're more "artsy" when you mispronounce words and wear funny hats.

    Other than that, the pome itself was quite fantastic.
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