any potential;?

love_boat_captainlove_boat_captain Posts: 14
edited August 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
i whipped this up one night it aint got a chorus and its well ok think it has potential for a decent song?

drowning in loneliness in a dark room
my depression finally in full bloom
i wait painfully for your promised call
oh waiting, so grossly enthralled

your angelic voice and amber eyes
may save me from my own demise
my disease has taken control
I pray that music may save my soul

polar personalities take turns
controlling me as my heart burns
FUCK! how i want to let you go
and let my soul grow. . .
alone...
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • edeneden Posts: 407
    i whipped this up one night it aint got a chorus and its well ok think it has potential for a decent song?

    drowning in loneliness in a dark room
    my depression finally in full bloom
    i wait painfully for your promised call
    oh waiting, so grossly enthralled

    your angelic voice and amber eyes
    may save me from my own demise
    my disease has taken control
    I pray that music may save my soul

    polar personalities take turns
    controlling me as my heart burns
    FUCK! how i want to let you go
    and let my soul grow. . .

    Well it works on one level..
    It made me wanna hug you and comfort you..
    but I dont think thats what you were looking for.


    reminded me of the line in Release -
    "I wait up in the dark for you to speak to me....
    Ill hold the pain, release me...'
  • yea your right its a thing that stays in your journal not a song
    alone...
  • edeneden Posts: 407
    yea your right its a thing that stays in your journal not a song


    No, thats wrong..

    1. It was healthy for you to release it, its like a weight off huh? Who the hell cares if people critique it.
    2. It was good because it made me FEEL, it gave another human being some emotion, so dont keep it inside.
    Just because it made me wanna comfort you, thats ok...
    we just put our art out there then release it cuz its not up to us to control how it makes others feel, the point is that they FEEL at all :)
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