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Tennesse Evil

FAFFAF Posts: 7
edited February 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
My thoughts take me places I darent wish to tread.

Tennessee Evil in my head.

I am nothing to me or others , I live.

I live to watch and see pain, suffering , dismay , self indulgence , contempory psychopath on a friday night.

Tennesse Evil makes a weak man fight.

The mirror is blank it reflects nothing at all , I am whole but empty , I dont know what I am.

Tennessee Evil creates a new man.

My ink shows my weakness to me, but to others I am

Tennesse Evil controls a new man.

Tennessee Evil, make me warm , a mothers womb a place to be.

Tennessee Evil let me live, for a night , for a moment I'm free.

People shooting hoops , a million dollars , but booze and the anguish makes a man a child.

No direction , no future , but languish in dreams of fame , a high of all highs, Superman flies.

Tennesse Evil in my being, a unatural substitute for a natural dream.

Tennessee evil in my head.

I live for the night but my days are dead.

A door is before me , a gateway to peace , my home is gone but the walls secure me

To make one more night without solitude or remorse, Tennessee evil puts me to sleep.

To think of hatred and not to weep.

Hold the reigns of a life that slips , away and forever , I hold on

And when my faith receeds I take to the bottle

Tennessee Evil . Tennessee Evil.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • wingspan penworthywingspan penworthy Posts: 8
    Once again Im amazed at the talent all around me here at the message pit. This Tennesee evil is such a strong demon in the poem, it dominates the verse and becomes both the central focus and the disgusting centre piece to be reviled and to hide from. What a fantastic poem, thankyou very much for sharing it with us. I hope I can read some more of your work soon.
    W.P
    Peace and love
  • FAFFAF Posts: 7
    I appreciate the appreciation , sometimes you have to just be there , I dont think too much poetry has ever come from an untroubled soul , I think that is why I appreciate Pearl Jam so much....

    Marc
  • FAFFAF Posts: 7
    My rage consumes me
    Like acid on flesh
    I burn with frustration
    Embers of my torture smoulder
    And the smoke of hatred envelopes my world
    I am before you , twisted
    Disfigured by life and its empty threats
    I am cut to the bone and stink of lust
    I am the new being this world awaits

    Psychotropic , light my fuse.

    I stand among vice and a world of shame
    I pity no one , I walk tall and proud
    Tread on your bodies like stones in a river
    Shunning good reason and faith and foregiveness
    Touch me and burn for an eternity
    I feel no pain , no remorse ,no reason
    I am hate and despair and all things bad
    I am my own creation

    Psychotropic , light my fuse
  • FAFFAF Posts: 7
    I think I need to get out more
  • FAFFAF Posts: 7
    Cocaine comedown on a sunday morning
    Hide from the world in a linen cocoon
    Doorbells ringing through your psyche
    Paranoia is filling the room.

    Eyes are hollow like deaths own daughter
    Body writhes in pools of sweat
    Telling yourself it wont last forever
    Beating heart no chance for breath

    Close your eyes and see tommorow
    Walking through a room of pain
    People look at your own sorrow
    Every day it is the same

    Mind is racing like rats in sewers
    Trying to find a scrap of hope
    Daylight breaking through the curtains
    Grind your teeth , light up a smoke.

    Mother nature calms your senses
    Makes a crutch to let you talk
    Look outside , through neighbours fences.
    Seeking shelter as you walk

    The world is hazy , quiet and loud
    Comprehension cant be found
    Busy people looking at you
    You take a breath and turn around.

    You want to hide or dissappear
    Your safe when home and home is near
    Three more steps up to the doorway
    Back to bed for warmth and safety

    Cocaine comedown on a sunday morning
    Hide from the world in a linen cocoon
    Doorbells ringing through your psyche
    Paranoia is filling the room.
  • EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    This is quite a debut, it is always much harder to craft good poetry in rhyme, and some of these are very well crafted. Tennesee evil I think is my favorite, it's a very haunting centerpiece to the feast you've laid before us.

    But the reason that rhyme is so hard to pull off is because it will lull you into using ideas instead of images, vague ideas, like pain or misery instead of the little pieces of life that bring these things about. I look forward to reading more from you, the best advice any poet can give another is to read. Go to the library and pick up some poetry, most good books of poetry you'll rifle through in one sitting, and it will make everything you write reach levels you couldn't imagine even a day before.

    I'm a big fan of Stephen Dobyns and William Mathews if you can find these guys pick em up and read em.

    But excellent work all the same.

    ETE
  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    this sad message of cocaine abuse is concise.. i am impressed at your honest depiction. it is a horrible and deadly habit.

    Kick Out The Jams
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • FAFFAF Posts: 7
    Thanks for the advice, keep it coming, I have reams of writings , some I feel is a little distateful for a public forum although I feel it is my best work, I am still learning and any criticism is very much welcomed , I have a book coming out shortly and I would like nothing better than "real" people to tear it apart.Thanks again.

    Marc
  • FAFFAF Posts: 7
    Thanks for helping me back in the day man , I will return the favor !!
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