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The Cheater

reeferchiefreeferchief Posts: 3,569
edited August 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
coastlines blurring, as my journey grows
on an adventure where nobody knows
yearning for knowledge, someday let it show
I'm on the outside now, from you I have learned

always move forward, always go slow
taking what's needed, to let my love glow

Sometimes I'm an arsehole, sometimes a jerk
sometimes I'm right though and that makes it worse
when all these feelings I fuck with, not mine
how can you live your life not caring a dime?

pretensious like a fuck, elitist sometimes
somedays I may as well walk my life blind
as the arrogance grips my life tight
as the ignorance takes me past right

that love I mentioned just a sick lie
got what I wanted but inside a piece died
I'm selling my soul everyday
I'm selling it as a bargin like ebay

I'm devious and scheming
take all that I can
no care for others
not a part of my plan

my personal gain
all that now drives
I'm in the sunset now
kiss my arse goodbye.
Can not be arsed with life no more.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • dexterdexter Posts: 8
    that's not poetry, even though there is a pitiful attempt to put in some "rhyme". sorry, i see no artistic value in this asinine rant. could somebody please get rid of this piece of garbage?

    d
  • westsidepiewestsidepie Posts: 627
    dexter wrote:
    that's not poetry, even though there is a pitiful attempt to put in some "rhyme". sorry, i see no artistic value in this asinine rant. could somebody please get rid of this piece of garbage?

    d

    Wow, that is a harsh assessment. Have you published much poetry yourself? Is your position as an experienced poet the source of your criticism?
    To pie I will reply
    But mr. justam
    is who I am

    "That's a repulsive combination of horrible information and bad breath."-Pickles

    "Remember, death is a natural part of the workplace. So, when you see a dead body at work, don't freak out, just ring your death bell." "ting"-Toki Wartooth
  • reeferchiefreeferchief Posts: 3,569
    dexter wrote:
    that's not poetry, even though there is a pitiful attempt to put in some "rhyme". sorry, i see no artistic value in this asinine rant. could somebody please get rid of this piece of garbage?

    d

    Thanks Dexter, I was'nt looking for your approval, I also did'nt realise that poetry was all you could write in here.
    You know I summed up a lot of things that have happened including many feelings and tried to coil them into one piece wrote in 15 mins maybe less on the fly or freestyle flow when I put this together.
    I did'nt sit and plot this out or try to work this into some shakespearian masterpiece, it was just a quick flow summing up recent events that I have been through.

    I guess what I just wrote out was a polite way of saying fuck you, but since your such an expert and criteque when it comes to literature you will have figured that out huh?
    Can not be arsed with life no more.
  • reeferchiefreeferchief Posts: 3,569
    Sorry for double posting and all that, but this is my poetry and I cant edit my last post so... but did this guy really just sign up to have a pop at my poetry?

    WOW, what a sad life.
    Can not be arsed with life no more.
  • #X.#X. Posts: 142
    I haven't been on the Message Pit long. This by far will be my favorite, and receives the best writing award. The rhyme is perfect.
    "The Poet is a madman lost in adventure."
    -Paul Verlaine-

    "With me poetry has not been a purpose, but a passion."
    -Edgar Poe-
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