A Random Free Verse

reeferchief

I just wrote it as it came to my mind.:)


I've been a lover
I've been a hater
I've been a man who was affraid to speak his own mind
for fear of retribution from another of mankind
coz I've got opinions
an I've got ideas
that not everyone agrees with
and some just plain dislike
all the fence sitters
I make them feel uneasy
with my words and thoughts combined
speaking what comes from within my heart
humane, but somehow socially deprived
these ideas speak of ways we can be
ways which others cant comprehend
they dont agree with alternative lifestyles
they'd rather we all blended in
be a perfect robotic society
conformist and grinded down
numb to any difference of opinion
numb to anything more
than their own way
A picture of possible perfection
a world which harbours no sort of rejection
one which would accept all people as equal
one which would'nt criticise other life
too understand not undermime
you're way of living, you're choice of life
is it possible we can live in peace?
possible to lead a happy life

gue_barium

Starts out good, then too much finger-pointing in the middle (seems sort of shallow), then finishes okay.

Could be a good song with a little work.

Honest criticism.

reeferchief

gue_barium wrote:

Starts out good, then too much finger-pointing in the middle (seems sort of shallow), then finishes okay.

Could be a good song with a little work.

Honest criticism.

Thanks and I agree, with a bit of reconstruction I think I could make it all work.
Like I say I literally just typed it as it came to mind.:)