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Captive

reeferchiefreeferchief Posts: 3,569
edited December 2006 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Cant let you be free,
dont want you to see
the world outside
is bigger than me
cocooned in my dream
enslaved it would seem
sucked in so easy
now struggling to breath

You're tying me down
locking those doors
like rolf's kangaroo
I'm captive to you
well fuck, fuccccccccccck you
I'm going to break free
escape you're shit
relenquish you're stranglehold
and set myself free.
Can not be arsed with life no more.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • PerceptualPerceptual Posts: 200
    Hahahaha... I thought the first verse was pretty good, then I got to the 'Rolf's Kangaroo' bit... laughed good. No offense intended, it's just kinda strange. Will be totally lost on all the Yanks on this site.
    I'm actually surprised you didn't swap "stranglehold" for "GI joe kung-fu grip"
    Now that would have been good!

    But seriously, I think you show plenty of potential. Keep writing, friend.
    "this one, anytime I say love if you wanna say love, uh, say it, and if you say it you might as well say it loud, and if you don't feel like sayin' it, don't say it, but if you feel it, certainly say it..."

    NOTE: Everything I write in the P,P&M section are intended to be songs, not poetry.
  • reeferchiefreeferchief Posts: 3,569
    Perceptual wrote:
    Hahahaha... I thought the first verse was pretty good, then I got to the 'Rolf's Kangaroo' bit... laughed good. No offense intended, it's just kinda strange. Will be totally lost on all the Yanks on this site.
    I'm actually surprised you didn't swap "stranglehold" for "GI joe kung-fu grip"
    Now that would have been good!

    But seriously, I think you show plenty of potential. Keep writing, friend.

    Thanks, I could have carried on like the first verse, and drawn it out but wanted to keep it short, the idea is that the words would build up over a rising crescendo of music and then just rock out like crazy for the next couple of minutes, have you ever heard the Panic Song by Green Day off of Insomniac? Similar in build to that, only more rocking at the end and without any lyrics over the end part.
    If I ever got round to writing the music and recording it I might change the Rolf's Kangaroo line, it's a bit of a throw away.:)
    But thanks for the input.
    Can not be arsed with life no more.
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