repeating

sandman

Trying to hide this pain in my head,
Trying to hide this anger that I have.
Screaming at anyone who tries to help me,
Screaming at the mirror that shows me myself.
Running in the cold rain,
Running away from this pain.
Crying out all my sadness,
Crying out due to my loneliness.
Bleeding all those years I died,
Bleeding all the untraceable blood of mine.
Walking in the silver moon light,
Walking in the chill of the winter.
Remembering all that you said,
Remembering your hate for me.
Writing out the things that crawl in my head,
Writing letters to people I want to forget.
Painting pictures of dead people,
Painting a portrait of me.
Flying through the black clouds of rain,
Flying above all those that are alive.
Playing in the sand with children,
Playing with my past in my present.
Riding the wave that haunts me,
Riding the wave that scares me.
Brushing the black horse’s coat,
Brushing the darkness of my life.
Smiling at other people’s faults,
Smiling the smile I stole from you.
Going to places I don’t want to go,
Going back to the life I had left.
Slowing down the songs,
Slowing down my time.
Blowing bubbles of soapy water,
Blowing bubbles with dragonflies in them.
Asking for a little more time to live,
Asking for a little sun of my own.
Scratching my hand to mark my pain,
Scratching my hand to make constellations.
Swimming across the ocean for you,
Swimming through the light that blinds the way.
Stirring my cup of memories,
Stirring my cup of unknown drink.
Sleeping on the bed that I made,
Sleeping when everyone’s dead.
Singing lullabies to put me to sleep,
Singing songs that I wrote.
Tearing pages of my diary,
Tearing pages of my past.
Turning my head to stare at them,
Turning my head and walking away.
Clenching my teeth harder than usual,
Clenching my fist to hurt myself.
Hitting all the invisible walls,
Hitting all those that I’ve lost.
Asking for explanations from myself,
Asking for theories that make sense.
Forgetting all that I said,
Forgetting all that I want to say.
Talking to people from nursery rhymes,
Talking to the rabbit in the hole.
Driving to a new town,
Driving to your town.
Begging for forgiveness,
Begging for some sort of attachment.
Nobody came to comfort me,
Nobody can take me back to the start.
Loving all those who hate me,
Loving all those whom I’ve lost.
Putting the puzzles together,
Putting my pieces back on the shelf.
Calling wrong numbers to check that I’m not the last one alive,
Calling people who don’t know who I am.
Breaking pieces of glass that are already broken,
Breaking the mirror that lied about snow white.
Shivering in the chill of the new season,
Shivering due to my loneliness.
Laughing when I want to cry,
Laughing when you say goodbye.
Must I leave now?
Must I return?
Questions that you cannot answer,
Questions that remain questions.
Wiping bead of sweat from my forehead,
Wiping drops of rain from the windowsill.
Sinking in the never ending ocean,
Sinking into the life that I once had.
Going away from here.
Going far away from here.
Holding all the pain I had,
Holding your hand all through the way.
Releasing my anger,
Releasing myself.
Goodbye for now,
Goodbye…

violet ray

i hope you get a little sun of your own

sandman

thanx...it's burning bright right this moment