Vacationing

crzymarypj10

the physical setting are very real
try for me and though i
try to feel something new
the pain is alive. i just
lost the race to get home
vacationing in this place that i know
i stand here holding the gun, run
chamber rolls in isnt this fun, run
whats insight maybe vacation
dosent show fear
barrell shakes, stares, invitation
body aches
what have i done
windows break isnt he strong
feelings of left
come out of right
vacationing, slow suicide
the undertow
flows down the hall
acts during the day and into the night
he holds pains threshholding hands
as he starts to bleed
what have i done
stares down the gun
what ive become
wakes in unfamilliar place
wasnt traced
trys to ignore
freedoms burned wrong way to turn
not in compliance
alliance turned
maybe a vacation
know a place to go
slip into night
trying to learn
hes vacationing
the way to go
slow suicide

Ms. Haiku

crzymarypj10 wrote:

the physical setting are very real
try for me and though i
try to feel something new
the pain is alive. i just
lost the race to get home
vacationing in this place that i know
i stand here holding the gun, run
chamber rolls in isnt this fun, run
whats insight maybe vacation
dosent show fear
barrell shakes, stares, invitation
body aches
what have i done
windows break isnt he strong
feelings of left
come out of right
vacationing, slow suicide
the undertow
flows down the hall
acts during the day and into the night
he holds pains threshholding hands
as he starts to bleed
what have i done
stares down the gun
what ive become
wakes in unfamilliar place
wasnt traced
trys to ignore
freedoms burned wrong way to turn
not in compliance
alliance turned
maybe a vacation
know a place to go
slip into night
trying to learn
hes vacationing
the way to go
slow suicide

I really sense the lonliness, like in a hospital room, in this poem. It's like the main character will "vacation" in a hospital ward because he/she just shot him/herself. I feel there is a coldness even though blood is warm. The being alone brings a grey coldness to this poem. Cold, grey, cold, grey, lonely.