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False Feelings (couldn't say no)

ScavonePJScavonePJ Posts: 94
edited December 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
ALright, this is a rough draft of a song I wrote, so I'm open to any comments, or ideas.

You hit me quick
You hit me fast
You hit me without warning
You hit me straight through the heart

For once I thought I was in love
I felt so high,
as if on the wings of a dove

The feeling felt so pure
so even though I was in secure,
I confronted you with my feelings
but you still chose to hide yours
so you strung me along
because you couldn't say no
Like a druggie and a bong
you just couldn't say no

It was your false feeling
your goddamn false feeling
your fucking false feeling
the false feeling that made feel high
Just to drop me down, out of the sky

So fuck your false feelings,
Damn them to hell
because your false feelings
are the reason I'm unwell

You said you were in love with another guy,
while I hope that guy hurts you
with those same false feelings
so you understand that false feeling are lame
because then you'll know all those feelings bring are pain

It didn't have to be like this
you could have said 'no'
then we could just let it go
but instead you brought me to an all time low
just because you couldn't say no

I wanted answers
I wanted the wondering to be through
and now that it's over
I'm also over you

Now it's finished
it's done
it's through
and all I have left to say
Is an angry
'Fuck you'


any idea how to help me revise would be great, thanks
"The true measure of a man is not where stands in times of comfort and convienence, But where he stands in moments of conflict and controversy."

-Martin Luther King Jr.

"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens"

-Jimi Hendrix
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • moegossardmoegossard Posts: 75
    I would rewrite the whole thing and make it more obscure...it can be about the same thing...but just not so obviously about what's it's about...
  • sandmansandman Posts: 80
    in my opinion its been written just the way you wanted it to be.
    all your emotions without having to give a shit about other's opinions and all.
    i liked it.
    felt as if its from your heart.
    shy away,run away,oh terrified child.
    move away into the fucken tornado.
  • AndyMandersonAndyManderson Posts: 167
    Just kind of curious, what kind of music are you planning on putting this with?
  • ScavonePJScavonePJ Posts: 94
    AndyManderson wrote:
    Just kind of curious, what kind of music are you planning on putting this with?


    I really wasn't too sure, I want it;d it to be hard and heavy tho, not really a sad song, but a pissed off song.
    "The true measure of a man is not where stands in times of comfort and convienence, But where he stands in moments of conflict and controversy."

    -Martin Luther King Jr.

    "Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens"

    -Jimi Hendrix
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    It's good as it is scav....
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • ScavonePJScavonePJ Posts: 94
    libragirl wrote:
    It's good as it is scav....


    Thats what I hear..................I made another version over on the other board if u wanna check it out
    "The true measure of a man is not where stands in times of comfort and convienence, But where he stands in moments of conflict and controversy."

    -Martin Luther King Jr.

    "Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens"

    -Jimi Hendrix
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    ah...I will :D
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
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