motherless....

ISN

(she'd be a great mother if she loved me, but she doesn't....and that's ok)

when I was young I had ideas about how mothers should be....
I think I was wrong.....
I tested two types.....
the abusive and the neglectful....

neither of them are real....
I am officially motherless.....

but my son
has me forever
and I have him
I love him as much as I love God
and more than I loved my father

I can do without mothers
take it one day at a time.....

ruby

That was very sweet, ISN, lovely...now you get to test a different type of mother. A beautiful mother who loves and loves.

pearlmutt

Thank the lord and rock stars for ISN and Chrissie Hynde --

ISN have you ever listened to "I'm a Mother" by the pretenders? If you haven't then you just naturally understand that song.

ISN

hi, thanx for your comments....I haven't heard the song....I just know some of the Pretenders' stuff.....but I'll listen out for it.....Wordsworth also said 'the child is father of the man'.....in my favourite peom of his.....which I can't remember, so I'll have to get off a disk....won't be a tic.....ah well, can't find it, so from memory.....

my heart leaps up when I behold a rainbow in the sky...
so was it when I was a child...
so is it when I am a man....
so let it be when I am old
or let me die....
the child is father of the man....
and I should wish my days to be
bound each to each by natural piety....

probably very misquoted.....hehehehehe

ISN

correction

My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the Man;
I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.

pearlmutt

it is an awesome song.

I love Wordsworth. I'm so excited that you mentioned him!! I really think I love Wordsworth's Preface more than anything else. But, oh yeh and hey ya, for that matter, it doesn't get much better than "Than the child becoming father to the man" or "thank god for mom and dad for sticking two together, cause we don't know how"

Also Ruby, I liked your response, it reminded me of Madame George by Van Morrrison (which some say is about a transvite, but I say it is about a mothering person) Anyway the last part and this actually ties into J's poem about the father and the child -- about this person who jumps up and says, Hey, love, you forgot your gloves, and the love that loves to love the love -- and I'm probably misquoting too! (he just keeps rolling it out -- the loves I mean, like a good parent)

Moms rock, real stars!

rarghrargh-brownstar

ISN wrote:

(she'd be a great mother if she loved me, but she doesn't....and that's ok)


but my son
has me forever
and I have him
I love him as much as I love God
and more than I loved my father

I can do without mothers
take it one day at a time.....

So sweet and sad at the same time......its a very powerful how you give a feeling of hope, that you can give your son what you didnt have....and can break the cycle

Lucky son, to have a mom who gives him love.....

rarghrargh-brownstar

Nurture- antithesis

---

Hurting me

Is justified by the power of giving me preliminary life

Begun Existence from your womb



Advise me that I am meaningless, countless days of subsistence

Is something that can be quite disregarded

But it is the control that crushes me

Into a lab-rat of confusion

Catering to ur sick world of endless defeat





Everyday feedings, forked meticulously

Ur only love u can give me


i wrote this a while back
when i was sad
lol



I guess it sorta relates.

ISN

thx rarghrargh....it does relate.....I was adopted by a psychiatrist....and she ruined my life.....she was a freak!!!!! cold hard bitch......I wrote this cos....I was upset with my natural mother......whom I met when I was 21.....I was gonna call it quits......but really, she is a very good mother, and my REAL mother.....so we're still friends.....I didn't want to have kids, because I thought they might be taken away from me because of my history of mental illness, but I needn't have worried.....about the psychiatrists, my ex-Partner took my baby away from me.....now I'm FIGHTING to get him back (and I think I will)......wish me luck....heheheheh....:D

pearlmutt

Good luck.

V V

Those are beautiful but sad words ISN, thank U.
we don't always see eye to eye LOL, but I feel privaledged being a Mother and would never abusse that. sorry for ur sadness, having ur own child can be very healing and I wish u the best of luck with your son

rarghrargh-brownstar

Wow
that sounds soo rough :(
i dont even know what to say......im sorry
has she been reported ( you dont have to answer).

I think people in those positions have authority that they dont deserve....glad you got to meet your real mom


Best wishes!

rarghrargh-brownstar

Good luck with your son

I just pmed/emailed you


Muah!

ISN

thx....pearlmutt, VV and rarghrargh.....things are improving gradually.....hey.....things are finally working out......and the healing never stops with my beautiful baby.....I'm very happy......

burtschips

just think, yesterday I thought you were an eejit (albeit a drunken one ).

I wish you loads of luck.