twisted emotions.....
ISN
Posts: 1,700
love loses
hate wins
anger brings peace
happiness depresses
jealousy brings mild calmness
revenge gives birth
passion enduces forgetfulness
greed fosters a love of nature
and apathy
gets me really excited
(heheheheheheh)
hate wins
anger brings peace
happiness depresses
jealousy brings mild calmness
revenge gives birth
passion enduces forgetfulness
greed fosters a love of nature
and apathy
gets me really excited
(heheheheheheh)
....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
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we can sort this out on http://www.crazyinteelectualgenuisesmeetpalebluescottishguy.com
click on the quarterpounder an i'll be there.
p.s. everybody else read ISN's poem and ignore me.... ISN read me and ignore poems...or something. I'm spoiling your thread!
*sellotapes meself to a passing dolphin......weeeeeeeee
any responses are welcome, not just the type displayed above, although that is equally welcome.......you don't ask a starving man if he wants sauce....so, yes, Dunky I appreciate your humble offering.....heheheheheehhe
off all of these seemingly opposites, this is as opposite to the truth as you can get. I've never known myself as a jealous person, but since I've found love I've found jealousy and it brings anything but calmness. I hate jealousy. must be the most ugly emotion there is.
Can I hear the colors bright?
Can I see the loud echoes of birds in flight?
Can I smell the sourness of a lemon drop?
Can I taste the foulness of a sweaty atheletes top?
Can I touch the thoughts in my brain?
Have my senses all gone insane?
thanks for being honest pacifier, because this poem sprang from wanting to write about jealousy, but I thought the poem would seem odd, because all I could say was that I never really felt it, although I recognise it, and I just didn't think there would be much else to say
thanks twin2 for your poem - I do like it.....
you are lucky not to know it. You feel calm when you have never felt jealousy. It really is an ugly thing, you wonder how you can act this way, think this way, feel like you are going crazy, but if you think logically for one minute, there is no need. I think my jealousy will fade a little as I get used to love and trust, but right now I think it stems from a fear of losing that (which is crazy cos it's the one thing that could push it all away)
I guess it would get better if you tried to think the same way as before - like you were happy with yourself, and obviously have good reason to be, nothing's changed except your state of mind.......there's no logical reason to let jealousy take a grip......like you said, it could cause damage not just to your relationship, but to your personal happiness......hey, that sounds so preachy, sorry.......I guess I don't really know what it's like, which is why I didn't write that poem, but it must really wrench your gut......I don't even know how you could go about getting rid of it
doesn't sound preachy, sounds exactly like what I tell myself. it is getting better I think, I think I am getting it under control. I've appologized to my boyfriend and tell him why I feel that way, and it is getting better. It's just something I've never had to deal with before. It will fade soon enough, and I can't wait.
I have to know, where/when did you notice it?
in answer to your question about how I noticed it......I guess I just noticed that you would put yourself down a lot about things like your spelling and whether you were 'artistic', and that I really sensed some insecurity in some of your posts, and I just realised that jealousy was also part of it......you've got to remember that it wasn't really obvious, I guess in some cases, I have a lot of empathy, and I was reading between the lines of what you said
Oh, ok, see I am not jealous of anyone in that regard.
See, I never felt that good about myself. Amongst my friends and family I was always the ugly one, the shy one, called fat from when I was young (even when I look back on photos and wonder why). Now I AM fat, and boring, and whatever else. I was happy being myself by myself, because I was the only one who had to love me, but now that someone does love me, especially when it's the only guy I've ever really loved and wanted in this way, I wonder why. how? And I get jealous because I see everything as a threat, which is rediculous, but it's just the fear of losing him. I really am starting to get things into prospective, it's just a matter of calming down and being rational (which is just a little difficult for me at the moment). I've never been in love before. He knows this is all a learning curve for me, and I've been very open about how irrational I know I am being, so we are getting through it together and it will be fine soon enough. Can't wait for that day. I never understood how people could be jealous until now.
we will, I'm 100% sure of that. Thank you.
my mother-in-law is constantly telling me I'm fat, and sending me Lose Weight books, and exercise clothes......it doesn't hurt me obviously, because I have no emotion invested in her, but it's just so RUDE......
even my psychiatrist thinks I should lose weight.......and sometimes I get the urge to try, but you know what, I'm so happy with who I've turned out to be, and these days I just think it's really shallow to judge somebody on appearances.....I see so many men especially judging women on their looks, and I guess it's just dumb......I'm glad your guy has enough sense to love you for who you are, not how many kilos you weigh, or how you look in a bikini
I think not only did it hurt because of who it came from, but the fact that I have been called fat, not just by my dad, but other family, since I was very little. One of my first memories was of being called fat by my family and getting really upset about it. I think if it hadn't had been an issue (which it shouldn't have, because I was never really fat as a child) and if I had been encouraged to like the way I look, then I doubt I'd have as much of an issue with it now.
The only thing I worry about with weight is whether I am healthy or not. I am over weight, but not obese and I think that I am still pretty healthy. Could do with getting more exercise, but not too bad. Now I also worry about what my boyfriend thinks, but luckily I think he is blinded by love
I don't think this is coming out right, I don't really know how to say what I am thinking.
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key
I think you said it clear enough.
you call someone fat and that is what they see themselves as, how they define themselves. "The fat one". So you accept your lot in life and live up to your label, rather than seeing that your weight has nothing to do with who you are and that you should feel empowered by keeping yourself fit and happy, rather than focussing on your fat and being miserable.
first off, i know this poem. i know how anger brings peace, and how passion brings forgetfullness. I like how you've encapsulated this ironic bit of human response to stimuli.
jealousy.... not one of my personal reactions to much. my mom was a tiny wide woman and didn't even let us have Barbie dolls for fear it'd fuck up our body consciousness'. she always thought she was the bomb, and well, i don't know about my sister, but that way of thinking certainly got passed on to me. cuz it's not a fly body or a pretty dress that makes the ALL boys go "wow"... lol... it's sometimes something much more sinister...
anyway... i lost weight when i looked at a photo of myself and said, "ENOUGH"... whatever it takes... i'm losing this shit. i've gone from an almost-16 to an almost-6 in 4 years.
jealousy, while sometimes flattering to the person you hold so tight to... is really a lack of trust in them and/or yourself. don't discount those feelings. don't call yourself "naive", writing off your gut emotions just to get some guy to stay with you. if he's looking at other chicks in the room, and you don't have the balls to say, "ooh, she's a hottie, isn't she?.... i'm sorry... but i'll be going now" or just totally blow it off, thinking she ain't got nothing on you... then there's something wrong... and you're ignoring it for the sake of being in love.
(and you're going to get really fucking hurt later) You're already setting yourself up for failure, imo. Stop apologizing for being new to love. He's lucky to be your first and he should respect that. Perhaps you should consider downgrading that emotion to "a healthy liking" of this guy until you can see him for what he is. Do his eyes wander out of habit, or is he still looking for his "dreamgirl"? If it's habit and it makes you nuts, he should be able to stop it because he doesn't want to lose YOU. If he's still looking, then let him go and look. Now. That'll free you up to find someone who only has eyes for you.
ciaocito...
He does only have eyes for me, he's probably the best guy I know. I think the problem is that I know too many people that have cheated on their partner and so I'm overly scared of what he is going to do, not based on what he does but on what other people have done. It is completely irrational. I think in all honesty we will probably live out the rest of our lives together being completely faithful to each other. It really is irrational. and I really am getting over it. I never want to lose him and if I stay my regular rational self I probably never will, but if I go on fearing that I am going to lose him at any minute and acting so insecure, I probably will lose him, I'll probably end up pushing him away. But thanks for your concern.
You are completely right. Not only did he move countries but he is doing a job he hates just to be here with me. It's stupid of me to ever think this way. and it's not constant, I don't do it al the time, but the fact is I shouldn't do it at all. He is a little insecure too, gets jealous sometimes, but only a little bit. I'm glad that he does though, because it makes me realise that when I do it for ecxactly the same reason I am being irrational. and have nothing to worry about, just like he has nothing to worry abuot with me. We will be fine. honestly think i found the best guy on Earth for me - BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's weird you know because that sounds like my mum and dad. I grew up around guys that where very flirty with eveyone and it was just a bit of fun for them, they still very much loved their girlfriends. and girls too, my best friend is very flirty, but also faithful. And I could never imagine anyone being jealous by this behaviour, but I'm jealous and my boyfriend doesn't even act anywhere near as flirty as they do, if at all. I think though, that I have major trust issues, and it is just hard trying to trust my whole love to someone, even though I honestly do trust him completely. The jealousy is fading, quicker and quicker, and I think that in no time it will be back down to a healthy virtually non-existant level.