character assassin

ISN

I was 12 weeks pregnant
we were in Rome
he was very happy to be in Rome
I was 12 weeks pregnant
we went out on a tour bus
(we had our honeymoon in the Canary Islands-
before tourism)
we went out on a tour bus...
he was very happy
he was happy as Larry....
as a sandboy or a King....
and then I had a miscarriage.....
he asked me what the fuss was about
'a lot of fuss about nothing'....
I was bleeding on the bus
he was very happy to be in Rome.....
he put me in a taxi and sent me back to the hotel....
I lost the baby.....
he stayed up all night.....
he was happy as Larry...
happy as a sandboy.....
happy as a King....
when he died, my daughter took me to Paris....
I wanted to tell her about the baby I lost in Rome
(I've lost so many babies)....
but all she remembered was the sandboy, Larry the King.....
the glad boy who lit up every face
who was welcome everywhere
the man who never frowned in his own home.....
weep for your babies in Paris or Rome
and bitter, just call yourself Mary....
there's a lot to be said for taking a tour bus
through Rome all night long
or grabbing a lit bulb from a bridge
on a Dutch canal....
or living in Ethiopa with no electricity....
your husband loved you.....
maybe if you were rounder....happier.....
you wouldn't have been so evil.....
I can talk about your husband.....
now.....I can dream about him.....
all you talk about is your dead babies
and your miracle..........son......

I had a miracle son too....hey,
how bout that?

EvilToasterElf

this is haunting and beautiful

but you need to do something about those ellipses, they detract from everything you write

grooveamatic

this is tremendous. the repetition is a haunting thing. wow.

i do agree with ETE however...the ellipsis take something away from it.

asphalt

maybe i like this .. there are definitely certain occasions and songs in company of which i'd quite like reading this .... lot of pain .. to the extent of joy ..... a dream where many occasions combine ... many characters blend and a scene is created .... its good

Ali

This poem is exceptional to read:)
It makes me personally want to scream.

ISN

thanks.....if I am guilty of anything, then it is just a few vices....drinking, smoking, coffee.....and ellipses......the latter being a thing I find indispensable.....but thanks for your comments.....I nivvir expected anyone to like this poem about my adoptive parents......my lovely dead father.....and my cold living mother.....

Flash

wow that is deep