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delusions are great.....as a hobby

ISNISN Posts: 1,700
edited February 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
oftentimes to win us to our harm
the instruments of darkness tell us truths

so many times I've sat and wondered why
psychosis takes me....it makes me
get anxious
just thinking about it
drinking helps....
and dreaming.....
so many times I've sat and wondered why

I can get anxious in about two minutes
I start worrying about the future....
my life of mishaps
and cockups worries me....
too blind to see that worrying is worse
and so many blind-alleys....
my little baby, so defenceless
and I'm such a walking disaster
I tried suicide.....
but living is faster.....than a quick death
a slow one is hellish
then why do I relish
my newfound bliss....my freedom
which is....really
only credited to a God that I have a one-way conversation with....
so many times I've sat and wondered why

I want you to know
that I'm not a ball of malice
or somebody's alice in chains
or somebody's Jesus.....revived
I survive.....by outsourcing my confidence
I find that it's cheaper
I snub the grim reaper
and want to live forever
because I am happy
and healthy
you must understand that my life has been deprivation and sorrow
I want you to know
that I'm careful
about tomorrow
I'm still a bit mad
but that's not too bad
you'd don't understand how awful it was....
and I empathise with them.....
the ones who get fooled into teh false reality.....
I'm well...now
so don't mind me....
I am the most benign creature
(apart from my biblical side vengeance)
delusions are great.....as a hobby....
....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    ISN wrote:
    the ones who get fooled into teh false reality.....

    Just the one spelling mistake dude. Good for a *insert nationality here*. Hehehehe
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    hey dood.....r u a teacher....?......I always spell teh 'the' teh.....cos I wanna.....insert 'ur a mongoloid Irish wimmin' bit here.....
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    ISN wrote:
    hey dood.....r u a teacher....?......I always spell teh 'the' teh.....cos I wanna.....insert 'ur a mongoloid Irish wimmin' bit here.....

    I was, of course, referring to your response in my "bad dream" thread, so therefore r u a teechur? pointing out my bad spelling...tsk the audacity. (this is all lighthearted stuff i presume) har de har
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    you presume too much.....it's very serious, my dear.....I've already contacted my lawyers.....in fact I keep one of them on call for times such as these.....and he has told me.....if I drink two bottles of shiraz.....I might well be able to recreate the exact circumstances......I was jus kidding with you b4.......when you wrote that stuff the other day.....but it occured to me that you were quite well-spellt.....until I saw a mistake......but then.....we all make mistakes......I dunno who you are......or anything.....but I'm being friendly........(note absence of smilie)
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    ISN wrote:
    when you wrote that stuff the other day.....but it occured to me that you were quite well-spellt.....until I saw a mistake......but then.....we all make mistakes......I dunno who you are......or anything.....but I'm being friendly........(note absence of smilie)

    What stuff the other day?

    note absence of ........
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    I can barely remember, but I think it involved you being a Scottish toerag.....nad me being a lovely Irish woman who'd had a bit of a drink......much teh same as today......or tonight......is it snowing?.....where r u from......teh Highlands.....teh froth of frith?.....mull of kintyre.....(thanx wings)......mull of kintyre oh, me strollin in from this....blah.....my desire....is always to be here oh.....mull of kintyre.....long....etc.....etc.....own up....r u from Glasgow.....hehehheheheeheh......I'm from Donegal mostly but bin living in Australia with my baby (child)......anyway......the boss is after you.....so start we4rkin......
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    ISN wrote:
    I can barely remember, but I think it involved you being a Scottish toerag.....nad me being a lovely Irish woman who'd had a bit of a drink......much teh same as today......or tonight......is it snowing?.....where r u from......teh Highlands.....teh froth of frith?.....mull of kintyre.....(thanx wings)......mull of kintyre oh, me strollin in from this....blah.....my desire....is always to be here oh.....mull of kintyre.....long....etc.....etc.....own up....r u from Glasgow.....hehehheheheeheh......I'm from Donegal mostly but bin living in Australia with my baby (child)......anyway......the boss is after you.....so start we4rkin......

    I'm from Dumfries and Galloway.... We've had a wee bit o' snow, not as much as the east of UK, it has been blizzard conditions.

    Anyway, fuckin Oz will be boiling, so get yer cozzie on and hit the sonofa-beach.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    yeah....I know....Dumfreeze.....Gallows....yeah....it's hot....but not as hot as it was a few weeks ago.....I got my (black and) tan......so now I'm just chillin out......took teh baby to teh beach a few weeks ago......but it's bin mostly jus chillin at home lately......r u at wrok?
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • BuruBuru Posts: 8,473
    Loved the poem ISN, feels like a printout of a complicated, wondering mind.
    y la banda de Guille... cuando toca?
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    thanx Brian Buru.....I used to have a complicated, wondering mind.....but I decided I wanted to be happy......so it's all zen now.....
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Posts: 7,265
    ISN wrote:
    oftentimes to win us to our harm
    the instruments of darkness tell us truths

    so many times I've sat and wondered why
    psychosis takes me....it makes me
    get anxious
    just thinking about it
    drinking helps....
    and dreaming.....
    so many times I've sat and wondered why

    I can get anxious in about two minutes
    I start worrying about the future....
    my life of mishaps
    and cockups worries me....
    too blind to see that worrying is worse
    and so many blind-alleys....
    my little baby, so defenceless
    and I'm such a walking disaster
    I tried suicide.....
    but living is faster.....than a quick death
    a slow one is hellish
    then why do I relish
    my newfound bliss....my freedom
    which is....really
    only credited to a God that I have a one-way conversation with....
    so many times I've sat and wondered why

    I want you to know
    that I'm not a ball of malice
    or somebody's alice in chains
    or somebody's Jesus.....revived
    I survive.....by outsourcing my confidence
    I find that it's cheaper
    I snub the grim reaper
    and want to live forever
    because I am happy
    and healthy
    you must understand that my life has been deprivation and sorrow
    I want you to know
    that I'm careful
    about tomorrow
    I'm still a bit mad
    but that's not too bad
    you'd don't understand how awful it was....
    and I empathise with them.....
    the ones who get fooled into teh false reality.....
    I'm well...now
    so don't mind me....
    I am the most benign creature
    (apart from my biblical side vengeance)
    delusions are great.....as a hobby....
    I felt similarly this morning. I realized that what I should do is write a Bibliobella poem with some conflict because eating-the-extreme-amounts-of-chocolate that I would like to eat would be too fattening. Writing poetry is a good thing in these cases, eh?

    Let's see, let's see what evilness will Bibliobella need to combat . . . or is it time to show more of Eva's or Ferdinand's or Paolo's strength . . . hmmmm
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
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