help me - I'm crazy....

ISN

mental illness is like a broken leg
they keep telling me....
I'm high on a hill of delusory ambitions
and admonitions and premonitions...and I want
nothing from teh real world at the moment
I've lost it so many times.....I've found more
in being a bore, and being a pedant and being teh
ultimate score.....
I want to be NOMRAL....SANE....AND HEAL-THY....
I don't like having the soul of a poet
and the heart of a dreamer
I'd rather be a schemer
and a liar....
there's something wrong with me.....
I can't lie.....even if they were trying to kill me
I couldn't lie.....I'm honest, and open
and there's something wrong with me.....
I'm very clever and funny.....
but I might well be fatally stupid....
I don't dissemble....I don't disguise.....
if you admire these things......you might well hate me....
help me.....I'm crazy....

Ms. Haiku

ISN wrote:

I don't like having the soul of a poet
and the heart of a dreamer

It's not so bad. They kind of go together, you think? Here's my poem in response

a tree has leaves
a tree has leaves
another grey seattle day

sevensins

i know what you going through. you sound as if you are, or have been given the lable of "manic". and that my friend is a long hard ride. but you gotta keep holding on. life IS what you make it, and we can create our own realitys. Love is what you need, love heals even the most sickly of the sick. Mania is a diability, a "broken leg" as you said, drag along with you. but its been my experience that with love and faith you can get a crutch when you need one.

i hope i helped you even a tiny bit.

ISN

thanks....sevensins.....I feel biblical....today.....yes....mania is quite a burden......for example if I wasn't dumb and flailing around in schizoaffective bullshit.....I wouldn't have had the courage to write that crazy peom....which I regretted very much.....thanks for your empathy......the weird thing about mania is that it's addictive.....brain patterns....synapses.....the whole shebang......deus ex machina not.......

sevensins

ISN wrote:

thanks....sevensins.....I feel biblical....today.....yes....mania is quite a burden......for example if I wasn't dumb and flailing around in schizoaffective bullshit.....I wouldn't have had the courage to write that crazy peom....which I regretted very much.....thanks for your empathy......the weird thing about mania is that it's addictive.....brain patterns....synapses.....the whole shebang......deus ex machina not.......

yes, its wered how someone can miss something that brings then so much pain when it go's away. and your welcome, anytime you wanna vent PM me.