back from the edge

ISN

I have retreated from the edge
and the sense of vertigo has abated
the situation is the same,
I'm just dealing with it differently now.....
dealing with it destructively, yes
but differently
in a way that won't cause that horrible death
which lasts weeks
in a way that keeps my baby safe
in a way that keeps me sane
I was so close to the edge
but I've come back to the world
before the doors closed on me
welcome me back
all you strangers

lovin kind

it is done

Ali

Welcome back ISN...I missed you too!!!!!!!:)

Heart,
allison v.

justam

Welcome back.

Have you noticed how your love for your baby is like a life-jacket? It'll help keep you safe.

ISN

Have you noticed how your love for your baby is like a life-jacket? It'll help keep you safe.

it's so true, Justam, now that I have him to think about, I'm really watching/monitoring my health......and sanity = safety .....thanks guys

movingfinger

salutations,
very lovely poetic thought, glad you're back although i am as of yet unaware where you were, other than the proverbial edge at least

ISN

well, the edge of sanity......the doors of perception.....hell's waiting room......death's anteroom......an alternative reality.......psychosis......I saw my psychiatrist last Tuesday, and he's brought me back to sanity, because I was very close to having a breakdown.......he's a brilliant doctor.......and he's ordered a blood test because of my drinking, so pretty soon, he'll know more about me than I do myself......hehehehehee......we have a plan to cut down booze, he increased my medication, and I am back on planet earth

grooveamatic

lovely poem isn....full of hope and truth...

i wish you well with your medical and mental issues....as always, we're here to talk....

ISN

thanks...:)...the mental issues have been in abeyance for a while, they just resurfaced when I got this terrible primary clinician.....etc etc.....blah blah......let's change the subject

movingfinger

if it makes you feel any better i was once a lush as well, now i hardly ever drink. I think it is because now i am doing what i love to do, and all the other shit that plagued my life barely seems importance, well either that or i am just smoking more.

violet ray

glad you're back
take care of yourself

ISN

well, not a drop has passed my lips today, a fact of which I'm quite proud.....that doctor is great......I put the x in excess though......glad to hear you're not drinking much now, don't smoke personally.....it's very common for mentally ill/bi polar people to try to control/elevate their moods with alcohol.....but that's jus an excuse .....at least I had the balls to tell my Psychiatrist

VEDHEAD27

That's really beautiful, powerful stuff ISN. I love the way it flows and absolutely love the hope here.

Like everyone else, I'm glad you're back & I hope you stay.

ISN

well, thank you!!!! and I'll stay on this side of reality for a few years I hope....