Another try! (Faltered v2 :) )

fitzy

Thanks for the feedback guys! I had a bit of a rewrite session, taking a lot more of my original direct ideas, rather than heading for obscurity. Who knows maybe I'll end up with 2 songs hehe.
Let me know what you think!

Cheers

---

Pacing up and down this empty hallway
all these thoughts, betrayed by my own mind
clutching for a sign of one last chance at this
drowning in my screams how did I break this chance at bliss

this pain, the suffering is just wrong
i had you once, things were so clear
now I hope, desire, long
for all my dreams to wake up here

Taking all my strength to push you out of me
every night descending into bed I cant escape
all my wants, so close to me, my dreams can make it
no more, i know within myself i cannot take it

this pain, the suffering is just wrong
i had you once, things were so clear
now I hope, desire, long
for all my dreams to wake up here

I wake each day and feel this guilt
Surrounded by these walls i've built
I have, i know, my thoughts, my own
she'll never know I'm here alone

but now the end, no pleasant dreams
there's pain, regret and so it seems
i've tried so hard to let her be
no dream is strong enough I see

DopeBeastie

there's definitely a difference b/w lyrics and poetry
and it's hard to gauge the effect without the force of vocal inflection....

would love to hear the song, though

fitzy

hopefully it makes it that far