Disasterpiece - Paradise

J100957468

Belive me we're all alone
I have died inside a thousand times before
All while alive

I wonder why
Humanity was left so far behind
While terrified and tortured by
The conflict of will to survive

While I wait it out here
Disgusting feelings all collide
I don't belive we call this place a paradise



Belive me it's cold outside
Wide awake I walked tonight
The dawn is breaking now and so am I

I trust the lie
I don't know why
I recognize this setting as
The black and empty void that fills my life

While we wait it out here
Where mutilated values hide
I don't belive we call this place a paradise



Believing gets old sometimes
If I contain within my mind
The memories of all pain I had in life

I fade in fear
The cataclysm burned behind
Would leave me no doubt in my mind
I won't return or say goodbye

While we wait it out here
The visions leave me traumatized
I don't belive we call this place a paradise

---

I wrote most of this last night before I went out and about. Then I wrote the second verse when I got back. I was walking around downtown area looking for some inspiration and i found it, we talked about crap until the early morning hours when he finally offered my cell phone back for 10 dollars (cause i let him use it and forgot to ask for it back apparently thats how it works). It is real hard when you talk to someone who obviously needs and wants help, and thinks you are truly such a good person for spending all night sitting there trying to tell him things that are hopefuly helping him, but then he was still so addicted to crack he had to ask me to buy my own phone back with tears in his eyes because he actually felt guilty about it (we talked for several hours and walked around)

J100957468

Finishing touches added (typos minor rewordings)
==========================================================
PARADISE
==========================================================


Belive me we're all alone
I have died inside a thousand times before
All while alive
I wonder why
Humanity was left so far behind
While terrified and tortured by
The conflict of our own will to survive

While I wait it out here
Disgusting feelings all collide
I don't belive we call this place a paradise


Belive me it's cold outside
Wide awake I walked tonight
The dawn is breaking now and so am I
I trust the lie though
Not sure why
I recognize this setting as
The black and empty void that fills my life

While we wait it out here
Where mutilated values hide
I don't belive we call this place a paradise


Believing gets old sometimes
If I contain within my mind
The memories that stain my life
Then I'll fade in fear
The cataclysm burned behind
Would leave me no doubt in my mind
I won't return or ever try to say goodbye

While we wait it out here
The visions leave me traumatized
I don't belive we call this place a paradise

J100957468

Really lame posting 2 replies to ur own thread, I know, but I made ALOT more revisions its practically been shop classed.

(I know that I am a genius, no need to congradulate me.... but please do it anyways don't be modest lol)

Comments on the revision bellow appreciated:

==============================
PARADISE
==============================


Belive me we're all alone
Inside my mind where I have died
One thousand times
I wonder why
Humanity has left us far behind
While terrified and tortured by a
Conflicted will to survive
Well we wait it out in here
Disgusting feelings all collide
What the fuck!?
How can this place be paradise!?


Belive me it's cold outside
The dawn is breaking now and so am I
Wide awake I've walked all night
The trust was fake
Not sure just why
Familiar feeling setting in
The void is back in me again
Well we wait it out in here
Where mutilated values hide
What the fuck!?
How can this place be paradise!?


Believing gets old sometimes
If I contain within my mind
The memories that stained my life
Then I'll fade in fear
The cataclysm burns behind
Which leaves me no doubt in my mind
I won't return again or say goodbye
Well we wait it out in here
The visions left me traumatized
What the fuck!?
How can this place be paradise!?

cartoonnightmare

its real sad. its a good expression - a very interesting experience you shared at the end of your first post in this thread. that would definitely make me wonder...

J100957468

ya it was a fucked up night lets just say that verse two didn't turn out the way i was first thinking it would he popped out the phone an hour or two after the sun came up and offered it back to me, and i had been out there since oh about 2-3am so it was probably 5 hours of convorsation with this guy he was talking about how i was helping him out too. then bam he pulls the phone out with the tears going and it was like a whole opened up i couldnt belive it i thought he was just joking around with me for 5 minutes straight lol. that is how unbeliveable it was! I gave him the 10 dollars for it cause what the hell I was hurting alot more from the actual propositon after that, I seriously walked around for at least 2 more hours solo after that just trying to figure out what the fuck it was about human, a species with the willpower to typically be able to stick to morals and values at least with people that have gone out of their way to be of assistance... I sat on the bench just picking out different possible factors that contribute to someone's control over their own values and It really to a large extent isn't his fault. For the same reason I put on a hat and then take it off after glancing in the mirror cause I think it looks worse, It's that sort of thing where your insecurity or whatever can make you do something against all will of your logic.