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The Expectation

robertthecatrobertthecat Posts: 69
edited June 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Did you hear me when I cried out?
Then, the skies melted into molten oozes of blue
And dripped sloppily onto my house, smearing the pristine paint
And the sun fell out of the sky, as if to lose its grip,
And hung there, drunkenly and broken.
Were you affected by the thundering sounds of me
Rattling my abode, iron clad and hollow,
where I have so snuggly inhabited?

I was looking to you to, strong and shining,
Gold in your armored suit ...to listen…to arrive
With arms extended, riding on your stately stallion,
swift, strong, shining and gold.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • windedsailorwindedsailor Posts: 98
    can't say that i heard you, no.
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    the sky's always dripping blue I find
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • PrettyNoosePrettyNoose Posts: 146
    ooh ahh
    love the imagery
    it's really very nice. great and appropriate title too
    her life was saved by Rock 'n' Roll
  • Barroom HeroBarroom Hero Posts: 76
    Originally posted by robertthecat
    Did you hear me when I cried out?
    Then, the skies melted into molten oozes of blue
    And dripped sloppily onto my house, smearing the pristine paint
    And the sun fell out of the sky, as if to lose its grip,
    And hung there, drunkenly and broken.
    Were you affected by the thundering sounds of me
    Rattling my abode, iron clad and hollow,
    where I have so snuggly inhabited?

    I was looking to you to, strong and shining,
    Gold in your armored suit ...to listen…to arrive
    With arms extended, riding on your stately stallion,
    swift, strong, shining and gold.

    I agree with the imagery comment there. Good description of the world you imagine in your head! I admire that ability.

    I like at the end how you describe "you." Those adjectives really emphasize the type of person the speaker was waiting for and creates a clear picture in my mind.
    Liberal Douchebags that Blame Bush for Everything are Useless Pieces of Trash. I Shit on You.
  • robertthecatrobertthecat Posts: 69
    Thanks for you input, I didn't think that this one was going to get much response.

    Anyway, this one...
    Originally posted by windedsailor
    can't say that i heard you, no.

    was odd, but pretty funny.


    This, one.
    Originally posted by Barroom Hero
    I agree with the imagery comment there. Good description of the world you imagine in your head! I admire that ability.

    Yeah, my heads a pretty scary place, like ren and stimpy joins Austin Powers in search of Romper Room.
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