Junctions

robertthecat

I am standing
on an old windy,
weed-filled road
bordered by both
a mountain and
an ocean, measuring
the steepness of the
mountainside before me

Thinking that perhaps
it would be easier
to dive backwards
into the ocean behind me
and swim until my body
no longer allows it.

But perhaps hiking
the mountain is better
because climbing must always be done facing
forward.

So, I grab onto
a dead briar

And recall
how weary I’ve grown
of this road

Though the rocks
that fill the way
glow in the dark

I detest weeds.
My feet search for
a sturdy landing and I
try to dismiss the pain
caused by the briar’s
thorns which prick my
hand and continue to dig
deeper.

How simple it
would be to jump
off and land feet
first on the beach below

To feel the sand
comb through my toes
as if I were in a desert
in search of relief.

But the mountain appears promising.
it would be nice to stand
on top, to be able to peer
through the cumulous clouds
and see what lies beyond them.

My other hand grabs
onto a rock which
rolls off the slope.
I lose my footing and hang
there among the other
dead bushes

I think of flying,
of running past the edge
and living a moment of
my life airborne.

But missing the spring
or summer or autumn
or winter would break me.

I can no longer dismiss
the thorns sticking my hand.
and though my body wants
my grip to loosen, I tighten it,
willingly giving in to pain,
crying out angrily

Against this forsaken road
which never promises me a hill
or a mesa or even a desert.
allowing only the scenery to
pass me and no more.

It is my body that wins.
I let go.
I feel the rush of air and
for a moment flight. I fall
safely, twisting my leg,
weeds surrounding me,
the path ahead endless.

I pick myself up, limping along
imagining spring.

FinsburyParkCarrots

The poet Ted Hughes said that one should make sure one is able to visualise an image in words before committing it to paper and an audience, and I'm delighted to read that you have considerable facility in constructing images of sense perception. We get a sense of the speaker's thought processes, their interiority, but we also get a sense of their tactile, dynamic physicality. I like the idea of mind over matter in the last lines, too, even though the body is said to win; I like the imagining of spring giving pleasure to the mind, in spite of the body shouting the persistent pain of the limp!

coleen

we share a similar dreamscape. perhaps if i look very carefully, i'll see you there.

Yellow

Originally posted by FinsburyParkCarrots
The poet Ted Hughes said that one should make sure one is able to visualise an image in words before committing it to paper and an audience, and I'm delighted to read that you have considerable facility in constructing images of sense perception. We get a sense of the speaker's thought processes, their interiority, but we also get a sense of their tactile, dynamic physicality. I like the idea of mind over matter in the last lines, too, even though the body is said to win; I like the imagining of spring giving pleasure to the mind, in spite of the body shouting the persistent pain of the limp!

i think ted hughes should say "it'd be NICE if one did that", but not necessarily the only way to skin a cat, yeah?


but i do agree... this is a nice piece... thanks so much

FinsburyParkCarrots

I hope it's okay, robertthecat, to include this quotation from Hughes here, to further the discussion about the poet's statements. I agree, Yellow, that Hughes could be a bit dogmatic at times (I've just realised I've used words containing the syllables 'cat' and 'dog', already, and Hughes was known for his 'animal' poems!). Yet I enjoy his remarks in his essay "Capturing Animals":

"How can a poem, for instance, about a walk in the rain, be like an animal? Well, perhaps it cannot look much like a giraffe or an emu or an octopus, or anything you might find in a menagerie. It is better to call it an assembly of living parts moved by a single spirit. The living parts are the words, the images, the rhythms. The spirit is the life which inhabits them when they all work together. It is impossible to say which comes first, parts or spirit. But if any of the parts are dead ... if any of the words, or images or rhythms do not jump to life as you read them ... then the creature is going to be maimed and the spirit sickly. So, as a poet, you have to make sure that all those parts over which you have control, the words and rhythms and images, are alive....

"... magine what you are writing about. See it and live it. Do not think it up laboriously, as if you were working out mental arithmetic. Just look at it, touch it, smell it, listen to it, turn yourself into it. When you do this, the words look after themselves, like magic."

Whether one agrees with Hughes or not, this extract makes fascinating reading! And according to Hughes's criteria for versifying, the good poem that began this thread well and truly succeeds.

Yellow

i must say that mr. hughes' pov is GOOD...


and, that poem i referenced in your thread??? that was exactly what was wrong with it, and perhaps why the mods deleted it? (j/k)... but

it's spirit changed midstream and left the good stuff overly encumbered by the rotten stuff

so...

no, we don't need to labor over our words, but sometimes i could use to pay a wee bit more attention...


much like robertthecat did

i forget

Minor obstacles that one needs to overcome. I can relate. Yours are more major, though, seemingly.
I have a limp now, too. Imagine that! Thanks for sharing.