Bottomless

Nothingbetter

Bottomless


A bottle of stone,
Threatened him,
Loss of everything,
Looked so dim,
Family fading,
Children taken away,
Would he take the bottle,
Or would he stay?
He threw it at the wall,
But it did not break,
Hell to pay,
His father did forsake,
To teach him conscience,
In this world he lives,
His heart only takes,
It never gives,
Except underneath,
Where no one sees,
At night next to his bed,
He drops to his knees,
And prays to a being,
He can’t understand,
How could he become,
This unbearable man?
Staring at the bottom,
He stared down his reflection,
Who would flinch first?
His best friend: deception.
Defeated by self,
The chains to break,
Too strong for him,
Drowning in this lake,
Of torrential rain,
And soaked ambition,
And endless pain,
An invisible inked petition,
And then the smile,
Of a familiar face,
His son reborn,
The memory erased,
No more scorn.
Something changed that day,
Hope resurrected,
The bandages changed,
No longer infected,
By the selfless doubt,
Of love never shown,
Turning from emptiness,
No longer devout.

Ali

Nothingbetter wrote:

Bottomless


A bottle of stone,
Threatened him,
Loss of everything,
Looked so dim,
Family fading,
Children taken away,
Would he take the bottle,
Or would he stay?
He threw it at the wall,
But it did not break,
Hell to pay,
His father did forsake,
To teach him conscience,
In this world he lives,
His heart only takes,
It never gives,
Except underneath,
Where no one sees,
At night next to his bed,
He drops to his knees,
And prays to a being,
He can’t understand,
How could he become,
This unbearable man?
Staring at the bottom,
He stared down his reflection,
Who would flinch first?
His best friend: deception.
Defeated by self,
The chains to break,
Too strong for him,
Drowning in this lake,
Of torrential rain,
And soaked ambition,
And endless pain,
An invisible inked petition,
And then the smile,
Of a familiar face,
His son reborn,
The memory erased,
No more scorn.
Something changed that day,
Hope resurrected,
The bandages changed,
No longer infected,
By the selfless doubt,
Of love never shown,
Turning from emptiness,
Broken bottle….alone.

VERY good....Liked this one alot......

Nothingbetter

Thanks, I'm thinking of tweaking the last line. I don't like it much.

Being Enlightened

It is a good poem and I like how explains the pain but especially how there was hope in the end. Just lovely, Nothingbetter!

Ms. Haiku

I really liked this poem, too. It would be interesting to see how you would change the last line. I agree that it has a different tone than the rest of the poem.

Nothingbetter

There, it is changed. I like that better