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unconscious streams

soundgrungersoundgrunger Posts: 218
edited February 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
same moon
same stars
same sky
different eye,
different minds trying to decide
what's right,
what's right?
what's my right to write
these words
these thoughts.

dreams,
mean nothing;
mine to you, yours to mine.
we're all we've got
but it's alright,
no need to fight
(except for) what's right,
what's right?
what's my right to write
these words,
these thoughts,
made up anyway.
far away
another day
hey

stagnation.
interpretation of a nation.
what?
lies
that's what i said
what do i mean?

sleeping
seeing
dreaming
being

what?
lies
that's what i said
what do i mean?

sweet
kiss
embrace
race
face--so calm and collected.
that's what they say anyway.
how should i know?
what lies beneath
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • sabbathsabbath Posts: 35
    this piece is very beautiful. I like the way you wrote it too. Perfect words. keep writing...
    fkjghldfkjh
  • soundgrungersoundgrunger Posts: 218
    thank you sabbath :)
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Posts: 7,265
    This flows like an open-mic poem - quickly but with bounce. It could be said slowly, but the words are short and quick.
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • Righteous JammerRighteous Jammer Posts: 509
    loved your poem..keep em comin
    It doesnt hurt.... when I bleed
    but memories...they eat me
    I've seen it all before,...
    bring it on cause I'm no victim.
    -Ghost
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    I like it too...especially the beginnning stanza.
    NEVER STOP WRITING. :):):):):):):):):):):)
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
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