CodeRiot's Poetry

CodeRiotCodeRiot Posts: 115
edited August 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
"Up Here in My Tree"
This'll just be my thread for posting my poetry, and getting your responses. I like criticism and enjoy anything constructive to my writing, cause I know foremost I am not that great a poet to begin with.



SIRENS

wake to the sound
of sirens
you're on the ground
and your world
has just been
flipped upside, down

bloodshot eyes
and a lid of weights
when you come home
she laid in wait
for the moment you set up
and fell for a crowd
with the tears swelling up
and dripping on down

it's a sad state of affairs
it's a depressing moment to bare
and i feel so
I feel so comepletely
helpless for you
for you I would do
I'd do whatever is neccesary
to get you on your feet
to push you in the right direction
to help you see clear
and get you out of here
my emotions push
and pull me to
the conclusion that you
you need a hand
you need my hand
in a moment like this
you need my hand
when the sirens stretch
across the lands
and the bright turns to grey
and the lights go misled
you need my hand
to get you out of here...
I tried to be a better me
In the end I looked like the rest of them.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    The first paragraph of this reminds me of Breakerfall. Except the girl has jumped and is on the ground. :(
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • CodeRiotCodeRiot Posts: 115
    ONE TRUE LOVE

    all you ever wanted
    was a place amongst the few
    who loved and nurtured
    people just like you
    growing up I seen your tears
    the ones you left behind
    ignored and let waste away
    beneath your sheets at night
    you knew yourself well
    you knew what you could do
    your capabilities far surpassed
    all these things you've had to prove

    all you ever needed
    was somebody who would love you
    took your hand and kissed your lips
    and layed beneath the sunset view
    someone who would lift you up
    and take you away
    like you truly deserved

    but there was nothing
    absolutely nothing in this world
    that could lift you up
    when you were down
    that could move you along
    with all its might
    until you were safe and sound
    from yourself
    until she came along

    she stole your heart
    and made you finally see
    life was definately more
    than all your suffering

    and all you ever needed
    was someone who loved you
    took your hand, stood side by side
    and behind when you needed proof
    that someone was there
    someone you truly deserved
    I tried to be a better me
    In the end I looked like the rest of them.
  • ArieltkeArieltke Posts: 17
    all good.
  • CodeRiotCodeRiot Posts: 115
    IN THE MORNING

    tender movements
    across your face
    subtle smiles
    and broken plates
    crumpled papers
    upon the floors
    and empty counters
    half open doors

    love has blossomed
    love has moved
    the heaviest of stones
    from their resting places
    as the morning stretches
    across your bedroom sheets
    up to your faces
    the day will meet
    I tried to be a better me
    In the end I looked like the rest of them.
  • CodeRiotCodeRiot Posts: 115
    NO WHERE TO GO

    middle of no where
    you came to be
    a thankful soul
    a part of us
    and when you left
    a depression in our lives
    it took a piece of us
    to think back, realize
    that you were such a force
    in each of our lives
    your smile and gaze
    and the look you gave
    when you'd just been made
    a man of honour, a man to please
    you were the one thing
    we all wanted to be

    but this situation
    so positive and fulfilling
    sadly had nowhere to go
    but down
    I tried to be a better me
    In the end I looked like the rest of them.
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