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Just Like There's No Tomorrow

CodeRiotCodeRiot Posts: 115
edited February 2006 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
you told me where I was
and I believed you
I felt for something soft
but only felt black
I played out my cards
dealing what was dealt
I know now I miss your charm
but it's in the stinging of the belt

so here we are
all tied up
with nowhere to go
and no one to see
so here we lie
all used up
getting so high
I'm losing patience
so let's fuck like there's no tomorrow
(I love the way you breathe)
I tried to be a better me
In the end I looked like the rest of them.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Gosh, this one strikes me as depressing--it's sad. :( To me, I could see this couple (maybe they were good together before the addiction got too tight a grip on them), passed out in a messy bed, semi-comatose, riding their high. He's thinking this (poem) and then he gets to this part: "I'm losing patience
    so let's fuck like there's no tomorrow (I love the way you breathe)"--I see him slowly rolling over (needing to do something to keep from thinking these thgoughts too much), sloppily he starts kissing and pawing at his girlfriend and she's really past all care and just kinda lies there, sorta sleepily moaning at his advances.

    That's what I was seeing as I read it. Even though it's depressing, it's definitely good! :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • CodeRiotCodeRiot Posts: 115
    Being Enlightened wrote:
    Gosh, this one strikes me as depressing--it's sad. :( To me, I could see this couple (maybe they were good together before the addiction got too tight a grip on them), passed out in a messy bed, semi-comatose, riding their high. He's thinking this (poem) and then he gets to this part: "I'm losing patience
    so let's fuck like there's no tomorrow (I love the way you breathe)"--I see him slowly rolling over (needing to do something to keep from thinking these thgoughts too much), sloppily he starts kissing and pawing at his girlfriend and she's really past all care and just kinda lies there, sorta sleepily moaning at his advances.

    That's what I was seeing as I read it. Even though it's depressing, it's definitely good! :)


    Wow... you took it and ran.
    I tried to be a better me
    In the end I looked like the rest of them.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    Hmmm...you seem down. What happened the good mood of the day before?
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  • CodeRiotCodeRiot Posts: 115
    justam wrote:
    Hmmm...you seem down. What happened the good mood of the day before?




    You said it before... I'm "moody".
    I tried to be a better me
    In the end I looked like the rest of them.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    CodeRiot wrote:
    You said it before... I'm "moody".

    Yeah, you should check your messages. :)
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  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    CodeRiot wrote:
    Wow... you took it and ran.

    :) Yeah, I have a vivid imagination. Hope you don't mind that I rambled on about what I was picturing. I only do it as a compliment--to let ya know that it elicted some emotions. :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    justam wrote:
    Yeah, you should check your messages. :)

    Your cake is getting stale on the doorstep. :)
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