Cracked and Shivering By the Sea Floor

CodeRiotCodeRiot Posts: 115
edited October 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
when the wind blows
down your shivering neck
and the echoes hide
somewhere inbetween
I can say nothing more
To make them go away

when the stars don't shine
or the clouds look broken
and the air is out of place
like the water in your brain
I can say nothing more
To make it all go away

I made a wish
just yesterday
that I'd get over this
and someday you'll see
I'm detirmined for you
I'm detirmined for me
but there's not a word I could say
To make this all go away
I tried to be a better me
In the end I looked like the rest of them.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • twin2twin2 Posts: 894
    This is a sad one, but I like it.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    CodeRiot wrote:
    when the wind blows
    down your shivering neck
    and the echoes hide
    somewhere inbetween
    I can say nothing more
    To make them go away

    when the stars don't shine
    or the clouds look broken
    and the air is out of place
    like the water in your brain
    I can say nothing more
    To make it all go away

    I made a wish
    just yesterday
    that I'd get over this
    and someday you'll see
    I'm detirmined for you
    I'm detirmined for me
    but there's not a word I could say
    To make this all go away


    I like the "I'm determined for you, I'm determined for me, but there's not a word I could say, To make this all go away" part. Because sometimes just having determination and some company is all that is needed to get over something. At least, I find that to be true. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • are super awesome

    i love reading stuff like that
    thanks to everyone who can read what i write without having to say something mean
  • CodeRiotCodeRiot Posts: 115
    I don't usually reply much to my own threads... but I'm really happy people like this one, as I am particularily fond of it.

    Thank you for all the kind words.
    I tried to be a better me
    In the end I looked like the rest of them.
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    I love determined people and determining poems:)
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
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