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Amateur Poem

PJTripperPJTripper Posts: 3
edited April 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
This is my first poem..kinda corny, but tell me what you think

You remind me of a time long ago
A time of simple matters and swing sets
A time of bliss
Every time I look into those trusting eyes
Beautiful eyes
Eyes that draw me closer to you
To my heart
A heart pounding to love you
Pounding to break through to you
It all starts and ends with you
Is this a mere crush
Will you crush my heart or will you love it
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • PJTripperPJTripper Posts: 3
    Come on. somebody say something...even if its two words. Means a lot to me!!!
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    Originally posted by PJTripper
    Come on. somebody say something...even if its two words. Means a lot to me!!!

    It has the feeling of the person you describe. Innocent and hopeful.
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  • PJTripperPJTripper Posts: 3
    Thank you
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    Originally posted by PJTripper
    Thank you

    You're very welcome. :)
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  • anOmisanOmis Posts: 223
    i liked it..a lot
    ~~dont mind yer make up, just make up yer mind~~

    ~~its better to be hated for who you are than be loved for who you are not~~

    F.ZAPPA
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