a circuitous blossoming
DopeBeastie
Posts: 2,513
a beautiful life
curling up
into the air
like smoke
expanding, thinning
inhaled by your raw sense
associating this jasmine with that
sulfur, this love with a lie that became true
because time is an asshole
time is the sonofabitch
that stole your words
and ran away to your woman's house,
showing them to her knowing she would be sad
time can push against the pain
healing the lie of your truth
in that moment
time turns trinkets into treasures
and treasures into trash
time is a fire
and silence,
a good strong wind
a beautiful life
curling up
into the air
like smoke
expanding, thinning
curling up
into the air
like smoke
expanding, thinning
inhaled by your raw sense
associating this jasmine with that
sulfur, this love with a lie that became true
because time is an asshole
time is the sonofabitch
that stole your words
and ran away to your woman's house,
showing them to her knowing she would be sad
time can push against the pain
healing the lie of your truth
in that moment
time turns trinkets into treasures
and treasures into trash
time is a fire
and silence,
a good strong wind
a beautiful life
curling up
into the air
like smoke
expanding, thinning
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
Shoot me.
all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
it doesn't convey what i want it to
the idea is clear in my head
it just got sidetracked
scrap it!
No!
Its got a lot of potential.
I think.
all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
there's supposed to be more beauty in this
i don't know why it went the way it did
it started out pretty nice, but went south in the edit
time is a crackling fire
and silence,
a good strong wind
all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
time is a crackiling fire
and silence,
the howling wind
all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
time is a bic lighter
no no no... not going there
Past
We have to discard the past
and, as one builds
floor by floor, window by window,
and the building rises,
so do we go on throwing down
first, broken tiles,
then pompous doors,
until out of the past
dust rises
as if to crash
against the floor,
smoke rises
as if to catch fire,
and each new day
it gleams
like an empty
plate.
There is nothing, there is always nothing.
It has to be filled
with a new, fruitful
space,
then downward
tumbles yesterday
as in a well
falls yesterday's water,
into the cistern
of all still without voice or fire.
It is difficult to teach bones
to disappear,
to teach eyes
to close
but
we do it
unrealizing.
It was all alive,
alive, alive, alive
like a scarlet fish
but time
passed over its dark cloth
and the flash of the fish
drowned and disappeared.
Water water water
the past goes on falling
still a tangle
of bones
and of roots;
it has been, it has been, and now
memories mean nothing.
Now the heavy eyelid
covers the light of the eye
and what was once living
now no longer lives;
what we were, we are not.
And with words, although the letters
still have transparency and sound,
they change, and the mouth changes;
the same mouth is now another mouth;
they change, lips, skin, circulation;
another being has occupied our skeleton;
what once was in us now is not.
It has gone, but if the call, we reply;
"I am here," knowing we are not,
that what once was, was and is lost,
is lost in the past, and now will not return.
I like yours better.
all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
I'm with gue here, Pasta. I like this piece. Yes, Neruda is lovely but, we're talking about you here, your touch, your feel so, fuck Neruda!
It feels like the weakest part when you read it is the part that gue_barium has picked out. So, my suggestion, as I do believe I have an idea where this one is coming from (<3), is to expand that one stanza. Here's my stab at it:
Time is the eternal flame,
and silence,
steals the breath from within
Don't give up on it, Rache.
No offense, but I think the Bic lighter would be better than that.
all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.