On Sunday Mornings

DopeBeastie
DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
edited May 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Fealty Cheats, Selling
children to the pancakes
The grass gets cut
The car port, washed

The afternoon comes
The sun smokes joes
while a VCR hums
Darth Vader redemption

Evening time chimes
its water closet prayer
Lie and bless the day's dying
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    unihibited operatic tenors warble "cliche!"
  • grooveamatic
    grooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    I don't quite know what it is, but I like it very much!
    .........................................................................
  • grooveamatic
    grooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    p.s....."Selling children to the pancakes" is my favorite part.
    .........................................................................
  • Righteous Jammer
    Righteous Jammer Posts: 509
    very cool..very different
    It doesnt hurt.... when I bleed
    but memories...they eat me
    I've seen it all before,...
    bring it on cause I'm no victim.
    -Ghost
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    thanks, groove-a

    shall I dispel its meaning?


    fealty - my oath to have an "engaged" day with the kids, cheated... and i sold my kids to pancakes this morning so I could do yardwork...

    they were quite pleased
    and the yard looks fantastic

    now, it's hot, and we're going to settle down and watch Star Wars for a while


    the water closet is the bathtub at the end of the day...
    prayers
    then, end of day

    i wish i had something better for the "death" of day

    going to have to come up with som'n other


    glad you dug


    Rachel
  • christmascleanlove
    christmascleanlove Posts: 21
    I think 'the days dying' is OK....it's not too bland in this context...it sounds pitch perfect within that last stanza....kudos....
    i can still bite my toenails.
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    thanks!



    (that's all I wanted to say, but apparently, one must have at least 10 characters in a reply... so... here they are, lol)
  • steppenwolf
    steppenwolf Posts: 164
    write one about your bath tonight!
  • ISN
    ISN Posts: 1,700
    I like it a lot PN, especially 'Selling children to the pancakes'.....I guess my baby is too young to enjoy making and eating pancakes, but I saw a sign on a restaurant in the mall, which said they had 'pancake parties for children'....and it puzzled me a bit......but now I understand.....I also like the line 'the sun smokes joes'......hehehehehe
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    hehehehe...

    got high, you know? Thanks, ISN. And a pancake party actually sounds pretty nice. Get the party over with early in the day... leave time for naps in the afternoon?


    oh, and SteppenWolf? lol... and perhaps I am mistaken, forgive me, but your request sounds very much like a "show us your titties" kinda thing, lol... to which I am inclined to post poetry about self mutilating suicide, a-tee hee... but. that's just me. good thing I know this to be an "all-ages" board, and that sort of language not particularly welcome.
  • asphalt
    asphalt Posts: 113
    sunday is a wonderful subject to write poem (n e day) .... and you've done a great job .!!! ... fast expression for a complete day .... makes sense

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