the needles seeking

DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
edited March 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
silent
finding ashen glass smashed, hashed to slats of wood once
inextric... it's lit and
bit too pink in tints, in kerosene
my pissing spit, a molatov

molatov, my cold dead love, molatov

the wood lit fire longing sang to me a song once
like the sand beneath a sleep it humming sang
like sirens sang it hiding in the gray
beneath my three cro-magnon plates
it sang it drove me mad

seeping slipped beneath it conscious breathing fucked and damned I had a good hang how to make it go, cold fast under the sand. I daily died beneath it's shifting hand not fourteen times before I cried. I breathed alive. My chest a free chaste-quickened hive.

the choking sand be fucked now
as i wipe my eyes to schlough the sight
the choking sand, the pissing spit
the needles and the new dead drone

molatov, my cold dead love
molatov for us, alone







(I hope I've not o'er stepped my bounds. I got shut down for using these words before, and I really really don't want to offend anyone. I needed a good cryptic and was pressed against a cliche'd wall toward embarrassment. I used to be able to write here, so I gave it a go. Thanks for putting up with it. Just purging. Peace y'all.)
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • coleencoleen Posts: 938
    as for me
    i've missed ye dear
    and hope you'll decide to
    once again take up residence
    in the place where you are loved so well.

    :)
  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    beneath my three cro-magnon plates
    it sang it drove me mad

    jeez.. rachel.. i have only two plates.. after all, i love kansas ;)
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    lol... Hi :)
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Posts: 7,265
    PastaNazi wrote:
    silent
    finding ashen glass smashed, hashed to slats of wood once
    inextric... it's lit and
    bit too pink in tints, in kerosene
    my pissing spit, a molatov

    molatov, my cold dead love, molatov

    the wood lit fire longing sang to me a song once
    like the sand beneath a sleep it humming sang
    like sirens sang it hiding in the gray
    beneath my three cro-magnon plates
    it sang it drove me mad

    seeping slipped beneath it conscious breathing fucked and damned I had a good hang how to make it go, cold fast under the sand. I daily died beneath it's shifting hand not fourteen times before I cried. I breathed alive. My chest a free chaste-quickened hive.

    the choking sand be fucked now
    as i wipe my eyes to schlough the sight
    the choking sand, the pissing spit
    the needles and the new dead drone

    molatov, my cold dead love
    molatov for us, alone







    (I hope I've not o'er stepped my bounds. I got shut down for using these words before, and I really really don't want to offend anyone. I needed a good cryptic and was pressed against a cliche'd wall toward embarrassment. I used to be able to write here, so I gave it a go. Thanks for putting up with it. Just purging. Peace y'all.)

    This reads like a spoken word piece. I feel the piece in the rhythm more than I understand what is written. I don't think that's a bad thing.
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    hi bibliobella...

    the metaphor is pretty much "rvm" in content, you know?
  • sevensinssevensins Posts: 887
    i love it, as I always do with ur work. And i cryptic with half my poems/ songs...infact people only seem to like my cryptic stuff.....anyway I hope u continue to post your work here. if u do, i'll keep givin u heads up on things like volta. ok?
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    there ain't nothing like a good cryptic
    and i must tell you
    the volta kicked my ass
    the volta made me write that, actually

    you wanna talk about cryptic?

    "lemme show you what I mean"

    alright, come on now :)


    thanks So Much for that, Seven... the bass on that first track... <drools on self>... holy mary, mother of pearl, that's good.

    see that first line? the needles seeking? llllllike, a record needle?


    l' via
  • sevensinssevensins Posts: 887
    ahh records...see i just assumed u were on heroin now. jk

    PastaNazi wrote:
    there ain't nothing like a good cryptic
    and i must tell you
    the volta kicked my ass
    the volta made me write that, actually

    you wanna talk about cryptic?

    "lemme show you what I mean"

    alright, come on now :)


    thanks So Much for that, Seven... the bass on that first track... <drools on self>... holy mary, mother of pearl, that's good.

    see that first line? the needles seeking? llllllike, a record needle?


    l' via
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    ha HAAA!

    no WAY, yo!

    that shit'll kill a man
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