red petals in the snow
DopeBeastie
Posts: 2,513
You wrote poetry with silk like sinew,
steaming like fresh kill in snow
Red and dead and split wide open...
Rubber necking blood, I never saw the body of the truth.
I didn't know there was a dead moose anywhere.
The shock, the beautiful red.
Red rose petals, everywhere.
The smell, too sweet. To sickening, almost.
Mad, and all distracted in it.
So many senses. So little sense.
The poetry returned was all gray and blue
The colors I feel safe and loved in
Like summertime oceans, rains rolling in.
Somehow now a glacial steel. Armored
and defiant, spewing "fuck off" to the sunny sky
It might shine a little light on the situation,
...as it were. Ah, the counter-imposition,
a negative you, perhaps. Lying there all red
and dead and smoking in the snow ~
me dreaming on a beach, don't you know?
Forgive me sweet,
the visceral's an honest,
dying, stupid human being.
steaming like fresh kill in snow
Red and dead and split wide open...
Rubber necking blood, I never saw the body of the truth.
I didn't know there was a dead moose anywhere.
The shock, the beautiful red.
Red rose petals, everywhere.
The smell, too sweet. To sickening, almost.
Mad, and all distracted in it.
So many senses. So little sense.
The poetry returned was all gray and blue
The colors I feel safe and loved in
Like summertime oceans, rains rolling in.
Somehow now a glacial steel. Armored
and defiant, spewing "fuck off" to the sunny sky
It might shine a little light on the situation,
...as it were. Ah, the counter-imposition,
a negative you, perhaps. Lying there all red
and dead and smoking in the snow ~
me dreaming on a beach, don't you know?
Forgive me sweet,
the visceral's an honest,
dying, stupid human being.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
a negative you, perhaps. Lying there all red
and dead and smoking in the snow ~
i like this part the bestest. yes i do.
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
like, the blue and the gray, the opposite of the red?
i was trying to get that
i think i missed it, though...
what say you, older j?
i saw it there, the juxtapositions... just needs a once over, kinda like ms haiku working on her poem.
i say hey nm r!
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
well, this is just a once over from the rough, so. i have trouble editing, because i'm an elephant-head and i think they're all perfect as they stand
(well, until i look at them again... then they all suck, so...)
doesn't look like i'll be publishing by 40
c'est la vie!
c'est la vie!
an' ere's me posting presents... i didn't even know you was on
thank you, fins
superfine
The words, the imagery.... it is a beauty of a poem.
heroes, eh?
is there lots of death in it?
Hero is the name, excellent film, and yeah some death in it.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299977/
Foreign film from China.
very nice words Rach.
Jason
Oh. I got the name wrong! Sorry.
That's the one. I like the movie for the story as well as how it looks.
That director is great at telling stories justam, check out his other films, they are all excellent.
Jason
Okay. I will.
...Blue and Red and Gray and Blue and Red and Gray...
I'll see if I can rent a good movie in the po-dunk town
((((jde))))
morning, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
from my window to yours