Korean Sijo

DopeBeastie

It is wonder any dream Twisted between thought and want
Being both awake and sound And at the same time resting
Streaking behind waterfalls. Sleeping on a sunny rock.







http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sijo

JDE-PJ

PastaNazi wrote:

It is wonder any dream Twisted between thought and want
Being both awake and sound And at the same time resting
Streaking behind waterfalls. Sleeping on a sunny rock.







http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sijo

I am not smart enough or interested enough in learning to fully get haikus or this, but that is very good rach.


I like it a lot actually, all 3 lines too.

DopeBeastie

<change twisted to woven, please?>

DopeBeastie

oh hey, jason! thank you! haiku is pretty simple, logically... but it's hard to get that moment of WOW

maybe someday


have a lovely night...

Rachel

JDE-PJ

PastaNazi wrote:

<change twisted to woven, please?>

uhuh that makes it work even better.

you can't edit your posts here?

that is so wrong, especially on a forum like this, oh well, I hope they make the change for you, it's really well done I think.


take care rach.

DopeBeastie

It is a wonder any dream woven between thought and want
Being both awake and eager, yet for now still resting
Streaking behind waterfalls. Sleeping on a sunny rock.






aw, i don't mind the disabled edit fuction very much, lol... certainly don't lose any "work" that way


these words once spoken, can't be taken back

DopeBeastie

It is a wonder any dream // woven between thought and want?
Being both awake and eager, yet for now still resting.
Streaking behind waterfalls. Sleeping on a sunny rock.

Now. Because we walk outside. Our tread on earth beneath the mist.
We think we are all natural, herein acceptable haiku.
We do not love each other, man. Isn't this beautiful?

Ms. Haiku

I may not get the syllable number right, but I like the idea of situation-development-strong conclusion/surprise. Here go:

House of lines falling so they cross. A new alphabet
created from years of words weighing down walls. If only
she didn't park the bulldozer in the living room.

DopeBeastie

lol... i used to keep my bulldozer in the living room



and i'm just pleased like punch that i even know what a cesura is



i've been invited to participate in a really interesting poetic project with a bunch of new mexico writers... there's a "coven" of 13 or us... all blind

secrety squirrell stuff is cool

thanks, bib
take care

walkerlastgen1

a laugh and a what? for you...

DopeBeastie

a natural pause in the line, like where a comma would go


like inbetween "words" and "weighing" if it were me reading this line, out loud:

created from years of words // weighing down walls. If only

generally indicated with a double forward slash