The Record Player's on Fire
DopeBeastie
Posts: 2,513
The needles seeking, silent finding
ashen glass ~ smashed to slats
of wood once
inextricable
from fire with its pinkish tints,
in kerosene, my hissing spit,
a molatov, a molatov
a cocktail for the new dead dove.
The wood lit fire longing popped
to me a song once like the sand
beneath a sleep it humming, sang
Like sirens hiding in the gray
Seeping, slipped I down beneath it
conscious breath, forgotten hands
I had a hang on how to make it
go cold, fast under the sand.
I daily died beneath it's hand
not fourteen times before I cried.
My breath alive. My chest, a hive.
My choking. My wiping of eyes
I clear they eye to schlough the sight
The choking sand, the hissing spit
the needles and the new dead drone
A Molatov, my cold dead love
Molatov for us, alone
(this is an old one i just edited for a reading. please let me know if it sux. thanks
Rachel )
ashen glass ~ smashed to slats
of wood once
inextricable
from fire with its pinkish tints,
in kerosene, my hissing spit,
a molatov, a molatov
a cocktail for the new dead dove.
The wood lit fire longing popped
to me a song once like the sand
beneath a sleep it humming, sang
Like sirens hiding in the gray
Seeping, slipped I down beneath it
conscious breath, forgotten hands
I had a hang on how to make it
go cold, fast under the sand.
I daily died beneath it's hand
not fourteen times before I cried.
My breath alive. My chest, a hive.
My choking. My wiping of eyes
I clear they eye to schlough the sight
The choking sand, the hissing spit
the needles and the new dead drone
A Molatov, my cold dead love
Molatov for us, alone
(this is an old one i just edited for a reading. please let me know if it sux. thanks
Rachel ) Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
It's pssionate, I have no idea why it should suck.
Thankx 4 posting it. I like it.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
I smoke my cigarette with style..."
I like it, Rache. I get it and yet, it still leaves me wondering and I like that.
My fave stanza is this one:
"I daily died beneath it's hand
not fourteen times before I cried.
My breath alive. My chest, a hive.
My choking. My wiping of eyes" - just rolls off the tongue and sounds good!
The fact that you asked us to let you know if it sux, sucks!
in kerosene, my hissing spit,
a molatov, a molatov
a cocktail for the new dead dove.
imagery and metaphor used well. thanks ms rp from nm
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
strange
lol... you know, j? when i read the word "tints" out loud? it always comes out "tits". oy vey ~ mouth excersizes, don't cha know?
thanx for reading y'all
be well
Maybe you fell asleep with "spin thee Black Circle on Repeat",subconsiously got tired of it, and woke up and set your record player on fire and wrote a song about it..
"I take one lousy psych class and suddenly I have it all figured out,......or maybe it was the 12 years of therapy??????"
-me
www.myspace.com/lastgeneration56
but, being as i write, or used to write
like some friggin tweaker in a trance
who the heck knows?
i tried to assign this meaning, hence it's title
i think it's about being burned.
i'm the melted record with ash and charcoal smooshed into my toasty vinyl, buried in the sand to be put out... oh, poor me, lol...
that's what i felt like a year ago when i wrote the first draft. there's a lot of cussin' in the first one, too... trying to get away with that so I don't scare the highschool teachers off... they're paying me to read next month, lol
oy vey...
and hey... thanks, groovy
www.myspace.com/lastgeneration56
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key