thoughts on walking my dog

blueintheface
blueintheface Posts: 153
edited January 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
tonight
in the vast dark
stars that can't find cheap rent
in my city
hang from poles
above
cracked sidewalks spitting
all the light
out like the day.
"be a philosopher but, amid all your philosophy, be first a man" - david hume

Mitch Hedberg- RIP 1968-2005. your jokes have laughed me through a lot. I thank you.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    blueintheface wrote:
    tonight
    in the vast dark
    stars that can't find cheap rent
    in my city
    hang from poles
    above
    cracked sidewalks spitting
    all the light
    out like the day.

    nicely done
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • theskyabove
    theskyabove Posts: 77
    the last line doesn't end it.
    it's really interesting until that last line.
    it feels like you were on to something "beautiful"
    some, "ah haa!?
    but couldn't grasp it,
    and gave up


    and how can there be vast dark with reflective sidewalks and stars and lightpoles?

    you are so on to something, i can feel it.
    you just gotta uncover it


    :)
  • blueintheface
    blueintheface Posts: 153
    I agree.....maybe:

    tonight
    in the vast dark
    stars that can't find cheap rent
    in my city
    hang from poles
    above
    cracked sidewalks spitting
    all the light
    sleeping under space.
    "be a philosopher but, amid all your philosophy, be first a man" - david hume

    Mitch Hedberg- RIP 1968-2005. your jokes have laughed me through a lot. I thank you.

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