The poem I was never gonna write, wrote itself.

romybian
romybian Posts: 1,644
edited January 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
(It's the first draft... just did it, gotta work on it a lot)


Like mandolins and drums,
your breath and your steps haunt me,
I keep turning around,
to find an empty landscape
following my madness
around this empty town.
Looking down to see your shadow,
waiting for the bad joke
to reach my ears
and pretend I don´t smile.
I play with our memories at night,
change the settings,
keep the lines.
Running out of choices,
Running out of love.

Eyes closed, I fight for your kiss
not to vanish forever
between clocks and miles,
to your silent war.

Every minute like a rain drop
hits the notebook where I wrote you
the ink is giving in the details,
I start to forget to remember.

Sad as it may be,
Life keeps setting in.
"The joke in your language won't come out the same" (Tom Petty)
I'm no dude! Dudette!
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • romybian
    romybian Posts: 1,644
    Like mandolins and drums,
    your breath and your steps haunt me,
    Rythm and strength fade out
    I'm not playing the song but it's ending

    Walking alone I turn around,
    an empty landscape in an empty town.
    Your shadow doesn´t walk behind me,
    I think not even mine does.

    I play with our memories all night,
    change the settings, keep the lines.
    Mix the facts, trade fact for lie,
    Our newborn images raise and die.

    Running out of choices,
    I walk away from love.

    Strength proves me wrong,
    Can't hold on to those lips,
    The memory of a kiss crossing the line,
    Of time, of distance, of seconds and miles.

    Every minute like a rain drop
    hits the notebook where I wrote you
    old ink can´t fight for details,
    and I forget to remember.

    Sad as it may be,
    Life keeps setting in.
    "The joke in your language won't come out the same" (Tom Petty)
    I'm no dude! Dudette!
  • Trailer
    Trailer Posts: 1,431
    Very nice!! I like the use of similies... the second draft is excellent
    Whoa, chill bro... you know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
  • blueintheface
    blueintheface Posts: 153
    the second draft does more justice
    "be a philosopher but, amid all your philosophy, be first a man" - david hume

    Mitch Hedberg- RIP 1968-2005. your jokes have laughed me through a lot. I thank you.
  • risa
    risa Posts: 42
    "Every minute like a rain drop
    hits the notebook where I wrote you
    old ink can´t fight for details,
    and I forget to remember."

    it's great...
    i waited all day.
    you waited all day..
    but you left before sunset..

    ...should have stayed for the sunset...
    if not for me.
  • risa
    risa Posts: 42
    that should have been the whole verse...
    not 'this line'...

    sorry!!
    i waited all day.
    you waited all day..
    but you left before sunset..

    ...should have stayed for the sunset...
    if not for me.
  • romybian
    romybian Posts: 1,644
    risa wrote:
    that should have been the whole verse...
    not 'this line'...

    sorry!!
    lol
    thanks!
    :)
    "The joke in your language won't come out the same" (Tom Petty)
    I'm no dude! Dudette!

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