Hell0

darkrosedarkrose Posts: 40
edited February 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Hi. I'm a new member here. I used to be a Ten Club member about 10 years ago. Pearl Jam was and still is my favorite band, of all time.
I can't even remember how many night's I'd go to sleep listening to 'Black'. I'm now 24 years old and my very first tape cassette I ever owned was Pearl Jam's Ten, when I was 13.

I wrote this poem about my father and as you read,(if you chose to do so) you can probably feel what emotions I had for him as a child.
I post this here because I love Pearl Jam, the music saves me, everyday. Alway's has.

__ODE TO MY FATHER___

Father's necktie's rarley tied, rarley ever used.
Almost like like new, hanging on a twirling rack, upright.
Only special nights out, brought in those deep, muted colors.
Silkened fabric's, smooth to the touch.
His tie's complex patterns, stitched so beautifully..too good for you.
making him appear prominent.
Him, a scented dashing delight.
Smelling of something he wasn't.
Dignified, handsome, robust.
For one special night, he was like new.
Tieing two knots to his neck, just as his father showed him how.
Let your work pants rest, Dad.
I did as told.
Sitting. Small and meek.
Quietly observing. Wathcing him tie the folds.
Over, under, up and accross.
Incognito.
In a suite of black, so lame and depressed.
His necktie deserved his costly italian shoes, that did slide.
Last, he'd carefully polish and tie.
Never got to see him much, on those costume partied day's.
Or any time between.
His majesty, Mr. Unseen.
Almost unknown, tonight.
Vanishing into his ride with a quickness, as if he'd seen enough of me.
He had transformed himself,
accomplish the opposite of his usual, unmaintained life.
And this thick fragrance lingered with us, long after he was gone.
His sickening cologne stayed with me.
Quietly alone, weeping with disgust..
Unable to remove the smell from my nose.
Go on Dad, paint your picture of gold, oh happy day.
This disguise of yours, was never meant for me.
He's oblivious, the scents are of warm nights in heat.
Just enough to make me sick, it was never about me.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • YellowYellow Posts: 699
    welcome DARKROSE, oh warmest of welcomes to you
    you who hail from NoVa :)


    nice writing... supernice...
    our blatance as teens always surprising...
    jamfaninmaine posted some of her daughter's stuff, and it's wonderfull...


    stretch your toseys out around these parts



    there's love in pearl jam


    ~love is saved~
    It's all yellow.


  • Welcome, I'm also new. :)
  • even flow?even flow? Posts: 8,066
    Hey, new blood to read is always welcomed around here.

    Welcome.
    You've changed your place in this world!
  • Indeed! Welcome to the newcomers!

    Beatiful stuff, darkrose, even if sad and frustrating. I am particularly fond of the love-turned-resentment transition from beginning to end. Definitely brings to life the emotional dynamic of what you must have been feeling.

    Enjoy the offerings of the Poetry Hut!
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  • The hazings will start at dusk.

    Nice read, darkrose.
  • Originally posted by Radar(Baba)O'Riley
    The hazings will start at dusk.

    Nice read, darkrose.

    I'll bring the buckets of pig entrails.
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  • Originally posted by CranMalReign
    I'll bring the buckets of pig entrails.
    You ALWAYS get to bring the bucket of pig entrails and I'm always stuck bringing the virgins. SHEESH!! Cran, you're sooo selfish sometimes.
  • Originally posted by Radar(Baba)O'Riley
    You ALWAYS get to bring the bucket of pig entrails and I'm always stuck bringing the virgins. SHEESH!! Cran, you're sooo selfish sometimes.

    Yah... make it seem like I'm such a dick, Radar! Who's always the first one down the entrail-slickened Slip n' Slide? You are!

    So quit whining.
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  • Originally posted by CranMalReign
    Yah... make it seem like I'm such a dick, Radar! Who's always the first one down the entrail-slickened Slip n' Slide? You are!

    So quit whining.
    Conversely, who's always first down the virgin-slickened Slip n' Slide? Huh!!!!!!

    That's it! I want out of the cult. Here's my Ovaltine secret decoder kit back!
  • YellowYellow Posts: 699
    girls!
    girls!



    darkrose... please... don't mind them, they're always scrappin over something...



    ingrates :p
    It's all yellow.


  • Glad you guy's didn't hate it.
    So, which on of you sexy bastards is Eddie?
  • YellowYellow Posts: 699
    ME ME!


    ooh, can I be eddie this time???
    It's all yellow.


  • Originally posted by Yellow
    ME ME!


    ooh, can I be eddie this time???
    By all fucking means..........
  • Originally posted by Radar(Baba)O'Riley
    By all fucking means..........
    Are you finished, or do your 10 periods have any meaning?

    Thanks again for responding to my poem, everyone! (except for mr. periods:()
  • Originally posted by darkrose
    Are you finished, or do your 10 periods have any meaning?

    Thanks again for responding to my poem, everyone! (except for mr. periods:()
    I prefer Mr. Exclamation Point.

    And Cran and I wear having a playful little exchange, is all, nothing menacing. We're apt to do that sometimes. Sorry it happened on your thread.

    And my response to Yellow was an inside joke.

    And I thought your poem was nicely done, as I said earlier.
  • Dear darkrose:

    I guess it's best not to leave you in the dark... there's a very interesting dynamic amongst the regulars here at the poetry hut that sometimes "soils" threads. Very often, conversation gets off topic.

    It has nothing to do with disrespect toward you at all. As you can see from above, you got accolades for your contribution. But in the end, almost all threads degenerate into mindless drivel like you've seen here. It happens to them all.

    Please don't be offended, as none is intended. If you'd rather it not happen, say so, and we'll not dump our disrepect in your threads (for the next 24 hours).

    Respectfully yours:

    CranMalSpank
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  • Originally posted by CranMalReign
    Dear darkrose:

    I guess it's best not to leave you in the dark... there's a very interesting dynamic amongst the regulars here at the poetry hut that sometimes "soils" threads. Very often, conversation gets off topic.

    It has nothing to do with disrespect toward you at all. As you can see from above, you got accolades for your contribution. But in the end, almost all threads degenerate into mindless drivel like you've seen here. It happens to them all.

    Please don't be offended, as none is intended. If you'd rather it not happen, say so, and we'll not dump our disrepect in your threads (for the next 24 hours).

    Respectfully yours:

    CranMalSpank
    Are you a moderator or something? I now understand, Mr. Exclamation Point was having a little insider joke. Thanks for helping me understand, if you look at my www, then you'll see where I've been for the past year. That place helped me be ready for conflict. ;) Sorry.
  • YellowYellow Posts: 699
    hahahahhahahahaaaaaa



    radar? she called you Mr. Periods!!!!!!!!! (lmmfao........)



    mr.periods......


    that's funny :)



    darkrose, we (listen to me, speaking like, ya know, like i was "represent'n")... but... there's not a whole lotta conflict on this particular page of the message pit... sometimes i go to AET and I just can't deal... i get so mad, and nobody f*cking cares... so... i hidey my wittle head in here with these supernice, supersweet, supersmart etherfriends... :)
    It's all yellow.


  • Originally posted by darkrose
    Are you a moderator or something? I now understand, Mr. Exclamation Point was having a little insider joke. Thanks for helping me understand, if you look at my www, then you'll see where I've been for the past year. That place helped me be ready for conflict. ;) Sorry.

    I'm not a moderator. Just the coolest person ever.
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  • setaside2setaside2 Posts: 1,084
    ACTUALLY he is mistaken, I am the coolest person ever.

    holy CROW darkrose, I loved that poem... I'm pretty sure that it sums up my feelings for my father as I was growing up nearly 100 percent, add some fun type abuse in there and we'll have a deal...

    WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME.

    you are most welcome here.

    and thank YOU for sharing your stuff... look forward to more.
    I'm stepping in front of the gushing hydrant in a hurricane. I'd like to see the traction I keep.
  • Welcome, darkrose!

    I enjoyed the poem, especially the use of smell to convey a deeper thought:

    "Him, a scented dashing delight.
    Smelling of something he wasn't.
    Dignified, handsome, robust. "

    "He's oblivious, the scents are of warm nights in heat"

    Ah, the bitterness of resentment. Thanks for the read, darkrose. I look forward to seeing more from you.
  • Yay! I'm glad you all like it.
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