What do ya think?

Shell

A million times I've tried,
Tried to explain but lost my footing,
and lost my thinking along the way,
when times were hard I stayed above to be patronised by the passing riches,
they sang the blues, explained how they'd fallen on hard times too,
I tried for a drink, but it's hard to sympathise with a fool,
they say you make your own way, but somewhere I lost it,
and how i've paid.

Goulet

honestly you should try writing about something less broad and vague...that way your reader knows what you're talking about or what exact feelings you want to convey or want them to experience, which in turn opens more possibilities for more feelings and emotions and topics in teh poem...if you start braod in a poem try to work to a specific point...something about your childhood or some memory you have or somethign totally different that is in some way related or can be related to the board topic...sort of an hour glass approach...