memories

Pearl_Jam_Necklace

I loved the smile upon your face..
when i made you cookies..or cupcakes...
or your favorite supper...
how we laughed together...
loved watching scarey movies...
oh i miss you!!!!!!!!!
your big blue eyes...
that beautiful sweet sweet smile...
the way you said "flowers"
in your sweet texan accent...
the most precious thing...
i ever had...
the privledge of knowing
and loving...
i wish you were still here
i know youd make me smile
oh just to hug you...
say i love you...
kiss you good night...
brush your long blonde hair...
paint your toe-nails....
Oh,Daughter,,,i neeed you so much..
my worlds empty without you
& it gets harder each day...
i thought it'd get easier
but im not gonna lie...
i desperately want to leave this place
this place where sleep eludes me...
and people just confuse me...
and i just continue to abuse me...
youre always in my thoughts...
the past 22 months have taken a toll...
i dont know who i am...
i dont care
i dont want a home
i dont want a bed
i dont want anything.
because you are not here anymore....
this world is empty...since you died...and baby
i died,too...
KM SEPT 2006

Holey Ghost

K...this breaks my heart reading this
the pain you feel is still so fresh
it's blood and flesh
....the bond between
a mother and a loving daughter

I know that some day soon
you'll be able to smile
and laugh again, my friend

The pain has you stuck inside of memories
that need to be released
to let you live again
to let your breathe again
to let you sleep again
to let you smile
and laugh again, my friend

Pearl_Jam_Necklace

Holey Ghost wrote:

K...this breaks my heart reading this
the pain you feel is still so fresh
it's blood and flesh
....the bond between
a mother and a loving daughter

I know that some day soon
you'll be able to smile
and laugh again, my friend

The pain has you stuck inside of memories
that need to be released
to let you live again
to let your breathe again
to let you sleep again
to let you smile
and laugh again, my friend

thanks forr the words of encouragement H.G. but honestly...i just dont see it happening...but hey im still alive...at least my heart is still beating ...guess that means im alive

Being Enlightened

Pearl_Jam_Necklace wrote:

thanks forr the words of encouragement H.G. but honestly...i just dont see it happening...but hey im still alive...at least my heart is still beating ...guess that means im alive

It means more than that, it means you're still meant to be alive! Your words are beautiful, just as the memories, just as your sweet daughter, just as you! Please believe in yourself and believe in a life worth living, {{K}}! It is hard and it may just get harder but, that just means you gotta be strong and stronger still! Find the things that make you happy and little by little, let yourself be happy--you deserve it!!! Believe that you deserve it!!! Don't give up---you say, "I don't care" but, what I really think you mean is that it hurts too much to care. And yes, it can hurt to care but, jeez, it's worth it!! You may have had a limited time with your dear daughter but, you were at least able to have that time! You were able to be touched by her grace and sweet, glorious spirit. And it's horrible and cruel that she should have passed so young and tragically but, do you think that she would want you to stop living because of that??? I truly believe that she would not--I think she'd want you to make peace and reflect all that goodness she gave to you in all that you live to do.

You touched me with your life, even though at a distance, and I can't imagine this place without your sweet light shining in it. Love and happiness and good health to you, dear girl! My thoughts are with you.