deep wishes in a shiny bucket of stars

cassiacassia Posts: 277
edited February 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
deep wishes in a shiny bucket of stars

good morning cuz i think it’s good morning
somewhere maybe Africa or Australia and i
wanna be someplace warm where they grow
coffee and speak simple syllables and that’s not
condescending cuz i just wish life was easier
and i’m sorry, i can’t help it if my poems are
sad cuz even the beautiful poems about love
and nature if they look closer they’ll see
they’re poems about real sadness and i see
sadness in the golden rising of the sun or the
shimmering red dirt in my imaginary DreamLand
and kangaroos pretending to be polar bears
and can you ever really KNOW another
human being, or a tree or a red bird.

my heart is breaking softly as the snow,
a hundred words for snow and not one word
for the way i feel,
right now, remembering you and the way you looked
when the color melted at your feet and my eyes ran
back up making you a statue king surpassing the
sculptural velocity of cummings or Michelangelo.
And a bellydancer whispered please come back,
all green silks and nectarine chiffons and pure gold
idea of tassles leading me back to the caravan. But
i woke up, because my poems are full of sadness,
and I wanted to die. I wanted to stay alone in my
room till dust filled my marrow with songs from
times before frogs and angels. I want to say stars

but once when I was little they said stars were angels
only I want Stars to be stars, and stripped of metaphor,
being what they really are, big rocks or gassy condensed
swirlicues
shining brightly, shining alone in their room, only they
don’t know that thousands of sad stars are joining them
there and
I guess when I talk about stars, I am making a Metaphor

girlfriend you crack me up right now cuz I so hear you
looking deep in my ears and saying to me you are so
melodramatic here have some tequila and put on your
big earrings. Tight pants are uncomfortable but my ass
DOES look smaller and this might possibly be the best
of both worlds (if we dance)





ps.~
and
you know, it’s hard to be small, even tiny
and not-so-uniquly copycatting e.e.
who loved to use the little-egoed big EGO ‘i’
totally selfconscious
polka dotted i
on this new software, cuz it will AUTOmatically
change the ii to I
and so you have to like type ii and then go back
and delete a part of yourself.....
And iloveyoualways, even more than my own sadness

and she’s so sad, that when she smiles, the sun rains down
and when it snows
it snows
white butterflies

***

QANIPALAAT

When snow is all you have, sounds
form like snow on your tongue. Falling
begins with invisibility and undiscovered
syllables. It crystallizes, slowly.
Uniquely. Time turns to ice and you
carve meaning white on white on frozen
water. Deep soft snow. Snow like butterflies.
Rabbit-furred clumps of snow. Snow settling.
Snow airborne, falling, drifting.
Fine dust of snow, pinhead small. But always,
Falling. The world is snow, and there is
a word.



*'feathery clumps of falling snow' qanipalaat


****

ii.

deep wishes in a shiny bucket of stars (because you said my poems are full of sadness and that I’m condescending/which I Am but to those who don’t know the meaning of “condescending...”)

and it got me to thinkin’ hey right: and maybe....yeh, a soul doesn’t want to be recognized...and maybe Just Maybe a person writes beautiful happy transcendent poems in Order to be happy beautiful transcendent...when life, uh, ISN’T and maybe just maybe that’s why (some of us) are impelled into the POEM ....in lieu of living life skimmingly on the surface of things...we love words
and can make word pies all day long

like strawberry
or pecan

and the best poems are about love, cuz love’s the best thing there is, only it gets so Cliche and people get vomitty feeling if they see another word spelled LOVE and I understand that. But the letters l-o-v-e are just a symbol for the MOST AWESOME VIBRATORY THRILL and ultimate experience of beauty Ahhhhhhhhh (And all the pervy minds get hung up on vibratory and someone out on left field starts up the redundant spanking again, and we all collapse into giggles and isn’t posting poetry on a message board kinda uh, self-pleasuring...so to speak....)
Well, I’m all for THAT :)
smurfette
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • :) I feel the urge to be redundant.


    "and she’s so sad, that when she smiles, the sun rains down
    and when it snows
    it snows
    white butterflies"


    and butter pecan pies.
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • cassiacassia Posts: 277
    i am SO allover that, honeycakes!!!

    haha just had a Butter Pecan icecream cone Last Night...
    the butterfinger chunk Looks good,
    but really ISN'T....ooh yeh/ Butter Pecan is A-OK fabulo

    (which leads redundantly to the tight pants...)

    {{{{{{{{{{belightning}}}}}}}}
  • cassiacassia Posts: 277
    i think pe can
    i think pe can
    i think pe can

    i know pe can
    i know pe can

    :)
    :)
    :)

    hey, is there an echo
    in
    here
  • We be tripping the light fantastic and all that jazzy, snazzy pudding and pie!

    My name is Pumpkin (pie, if you please). Have you seen Peter? ;)

    or

    Just pe cans

    I think pe can
    I think pe can

    I know pe can
    I know pe can

    Just needs a little butter to grease 'er up!

    And you are SOOOOOOOOO right! There is a major ehco chamber in here, my dear! :)

    Love to you for the smiles, sunshine! :):)

    ps. and that ass in tight pants---jesus girl---I just gots to...I can't help it...I just must...that ass be so fine...

    SPANK!
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • cassiacassia Posts: 277
    i so had that coming :)

    LOVE~~~
  • dyaogirldyaogirl Posts: 138
    Originally posted by cassia

    girlfriend you crack me up right now cuz I so hear you
    looking deep in my ears and saying to me you are so
    melodramatic here have some tequila and put on your
    big earrings. Tight pants are uncomfortable but my ass
    DOES look smaller and this might possibly be the best
    of both worlds (if we dance)



    Sad SillySad SillySad Silly


    Silly
    Big hoop earrings and hot pink lipstick
    We sing silly songs
    Drama instantly gone
    While talking in Spanish all day long
    Rolling our “r’s” forces a grin
    Consuming from a never ending bottle
    Of blue agave dreams
    Wiping all excesses from our chins!
    Arrrriba Arrrriba Arrrriba
    Cabo Wabo is in our blood

    We SHALL belly dance in tight pants

    And know this vital life is ours for the living
    '..... Ah! A perfect illustration of the poststructuralist paradox. Does the signifier "Merlot" correspond with the 'truth' of the bottle I polished off last night, or do we hold in our thoughts a different "signified" of bottle-of-Merlot-ness? Perhaps we're dreaming of the same bottle!" -FinsburyParkCarrots

  • cassiacassia Posts: 277
    red chiles, mas cervesa
    tambien

    si si we salsa in lowrise jeans til the weeny hours of dawn
    ole


    SONRISA
    chiquita hermosa
    te amo
    cuando
    todo los nubes
    dicen
    Hasta lluego

    salsa yr ass off....syao-chica

    meringue
    2

    CALIENTE ***********
  • YellowYellow Posts: 699
    muy bueno mi mida :)

    muy bueno :)
    It's all yellow.


  • phishgodphishgod Posts: 133
    Butterflies in the Sad Snow,
    and the paper yesterday reporting
    on Japanese Snow Flowers, since
    each flake unique as flower beuatiful, and sad slow long
    wonderful spins and the world comes crashing in sometimes
    as if
    we accidently let reality
    out of its box
    stuck up on some closet shelf someplace where we left it,
    so let us
    sing of the angel stars,
    let us romp in the golden dawn of Africa AND Australia,
    let us rock on and wash the sadness in the new pecan sun-
    day
    of newfound blissjoy,
    yes my lover,
    the pain in the sadness washed from the past
    reverbs in present tones
    (sadly)
    sometimes, but
    we are making new reality here, new dreams,
    new snow flowers and butterflies,
    and how you feel has no word to describe it
    which means it is new--
    redefining itself
    from the words of the past since that
    is the limitation
    imposed by old languages,
    but lingua et. fortuna
    and newwords
    newworlds
    can be made,
    and SMACK!
    I LOVE YR ASS!
    & I AM all over that!

    And the beauty of the sadness is that it returns in new light with little smiles and flowers of spring, snow flowers cycling forth into new becomings,
    and "I must remember the sadness in order to know that I am happy,"
    as yin
    requires yang
    to make a snowball,
    or the sun.

    As we truly search to know the OTTER human,
    and in that blend of euphoric joy and sadness
    is true Beauty:
    go deep, no more surface skimming in the muck
    (as I always say, yes!).

    deep innies
    beauteous joy
    inside a soulsea
    waves washing
    new words formed
    like strata lain upon
    the bottoms, rebuilt,
    renewed, emergent,
    burying the what-went-before
    in a new geologica:
    and the sun needs the moon
    to understand Beauty
    as the moon needs the sun
    to understand darkness.

    Soft words for snow: ice cream
    (butter pecan word pies, butterflies, snow flowers)
    you/I--
    that's all we need
    (love IS all we need)
    & I am grateful.


    ILY
    yr guy
    rockon,
    phishgod
  • YellowYellow Posts: 699
    Originally posted by cassia
    And a bellydancer whispered please come back,
    all green silks and nectarine chiffons and pure gold
    idea of tassles leading me back to the caravan.


    I have been DYING to get back to this and i am glad i remembered, cuz life is like that you know??? paved with good intentions??? and then we stay up too early and it's gone...

    but it's not gone this time, and neither are you and for that i am happy....

    i know to where this aims

    now let me eluse (is that a word?)

    the pond was getting all murkied up with seriously daft
    anaerobic microcosms thoughtbound to timefully young-stylied things... young as in soulyoung, as in "this is the first time my heart ever got broke, no it t'weren't no thang, but i gots a song about it, like to hear it? here it go..." (the reg's muses were all in tahiti getting tans or someshit) and it was over and over the hill and dale and back again like jack and jill put their crowns back together with spit. Grok? Vomit??? No? and then.........


    here come the ion bouncers
    the thought trogers
    the experienced
    the read referenced
    tons of 'em...
    like WAY over ole yella's head
    WAY WAY WAY
    like i could never even think to say those things
    or refer to those things
    and things was all getting like,
    ooh
    I AM A HAYSEED

    and i was emotin' this to two


    you see what i mean?


    it was just a blip
    a november in our february
    a thankgiving lost heart

    which we are (no joke)

    {and why i puked that one time}


    but i sing threnodies no more because i have been part of a wish in a deep shiney buckey


    MUCH love in this
    dear lassia
    It's all yellow.


  • FelicityFelicity Posts: 339
    why is my heart pounding so hard after reading this?

    i swear the roller coaster is truly neverending because i believe
    i believe what my heart
    and my chemistry tells me
    though sense screams
    that it's wrong all wrong
    and should not be
    exists only in my mind
    but my body remembers
    the tastes and smells
    that really happened
    and it still says
    there's much more to come
    something great and beautiful
    luscious and precious
    a private glorious party
    where anything is allowed
    within the framework
    of the blessed couple

    only then can i release
    this extraordinary wait
  • cassiacassia Posts: 277
    Originally posted by Felicity
    why is my heart pounding so hard after reading this?

    i swear the roller coaster is truly neverending because i believe
    i believe what my heart
    and my chemistry tells me
    though sense screams
    that it's wrong all wrong
    and should not be
    exists only in my mind
    but my body remembers
    the tastes and smells
    that really happened
    and it still says
    there's much more to come
    something great and beautiful
    luscious and precious
    a private glorious party
    where anything is allowed
    within the framework
    of the blessed couple

    only then can i release
    this extraordinary wait


    {{{felicity}}} this truly elegantly rocks.
    thank you for such a
    wonderful weave, posted here...i am honored.
    yes
    yes
    I CAN FEEL IT TOO,
    a sensual gravity
    of Becoming

    so near
    so near

    (the taste,
    the tiny quivers)

    yes, yes Excellent in beauty
    time-precious

    the delirious waiting

    godyes, so good :)
  • cassiacassia Posts: 277
    tres insightful spin,
    Exactly
    and i love it when you get
    all mind twirled
    and
    flowy ~~

    ride the wave

    (good to back/& love)
    you
    so
    get
    it
  • Stars shine up from my LUNA girl's well
    Reflecting love's soar as the night's mountainbird
    Love spins roundround my LUNA love girl
    when she's dancingbrightlaughingreleasing the world:
    Yahoo!


    :)

    I'm bejewelled!
  • dyaogirldyaogirl Posts: 138
    The music in question is romantic.
    It is languid.
    It is decadent in sound and subject matter.
    It is funny and flattering and makes a good first impression, but it is also up to no good.
    In this music, time goes sideways
    When it goes anywhere at all.
    It is four o’clock on a Thursday afternoon and we are at your apartment when we should be at work
    The sun shows green through five Rolling Rocks and quarter-full bottle of Tanqueray.
    You close your eyes.
    It is four o’clock on a Thursday morning and we are in a cab, lost in Chinatown when we should be home in bed.
    “Why are we hiding from our friends?” you ask, and I only smile.
    It is some time tomorrow
    You are on a plane and no longer know what time zone you are in,
    No longer know what time it is.
    The stewardess brings a double Stoli on the rocks.
    You sip it slowly and leave the olive,
    Thinking about someone who won’t return your calls,
    Someone whose underwear drawer you have recently been through, looking for clues.
    You slip out your credit card and reach for the Airfone.
    It is dreamtime.
    You are in a room full of photographs, or maybe memories.
    Everyone here is someone you’d rather not see
    Coming this way: an old girlfriend who knows all your faults
    And pretends to want to help
    Far away, which exactly is where you’d like to be, there is a ticking, like a clock, only faster. Rhythm guitar. Rhythm guitar. Rhythm guitar.
    You open your eyes.

    --Joe Levy
    '..... Ah! A perfect illustration of the poststructuralist paradox. Does the signifier "Merlot" correspond with the 'truth' of the bottle I polished off last night, or do we hold in our thoughts a different "signified" of bottle-of-Merlot-ness? Perhaps we're dreaming of the same bottle!" -FinsburyParkCarrots

  • Strange attractors
    Cyclone vistas
    Valleys of chaos
    universes between the sandgrains
    Making 506 =
    .506127
    Koch curves of infinite reach
    No boundaries beginning ending
    Music is fractal
    Love is fractal
    Spiral into oneness
    again and again and again
    deeper
    always
    I guess
    :)
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