Separation Anxiety

fundamental

Six years ago they moved into their new home…they were happy
Now there’s an agreement drawn up separating their belongings ~ Star Trek related items, records in box and a space shuttle picture in blue
In the margin to the left, next to Mom’s silver and Mom’s Wedgewood China, “I would have given this to you anyway” was written and then scratched out
The CD holder’s fate was decided too – it was crossed out and there’s a note saying “buy your own”

justam

Wow, that's enough to get a picture of the state of things.

FinsburyParkCarrots

I like the way you told a story of a breakup, just through a vignette. It's in the way you analyse these end-of-relationship rituals and chores in neutral, detached reportage, without any superfluous content that makes this little piece work, for me anyway. You didn't go overboard on all thedetails of how the people were feeling, which would have been overkill.

Writing about a breakup and the anxiety it causes in this way is like writing a short story about a bickering family, hovering around their dead parents' house and taking items not clearly mentioned in the will. You can use a bit of reportage to suggest the inner world of these people, without going over the top. Too much extraneous detail about all that pain, doom and gloom, and it takes on the suspect appearance of a confessional. The more selective you are with image and incident, to hint at the subtext of the piece, the more the reader's imagination gets to work.

Cheers for sharing.

Bu2

Mom: Well, I have my mother's Hummels so I'll let you all divvy them up.

Aunt: I was more interested in the Royal Dalton toby mugs. You have so many of them, your brother got so few. Just three for me, and three for each of my girls, okay?

Eldest grand daughter: Such amazing LP's! South Pacific, all the Broadway shows.....I want this one, this one, oh!! And THAT one!!

Youngest: Don't mind me, I'm just gonna go out for a cigarette while you vultures take what you must.

Mom: Did she say something?

Middle grand daughter: I want at least six toby jugs. And these five Hummels were ALWAYS my favorites!

Mom: I thought I heard her say something. Oh well.

Aunt: So when do we start on the jewelry?

Mom: I thought we might lay each piece out on the table, and let each of us have 2. But the engagement ring is mine, so that doesn't count.

Aunt: Well, then....neither should the sapphire, really......don't you think? Wouldn't that make it more of an even number?

chadwick

sounds like a piraha feeding frenzy..