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Sail Away

A HitchHiker PoetA HitchHiker Poet Posts: 129
edited August 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Sail away with me
Far from lifes temptations
Where we only need love to feed us
I will not need a drink,
For I have the thrist of passion
Don't need a raincoat, I'm already wet..
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    very evocative.....:)
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    "Sailing away" is a bit cliched and hokey sounding. I think the poem would be 10 times better if you changed the verb, the very first word of the poem. (You are commanding someone to do something. Remember that.)
    .........................................................................
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