I'm new here... here's some of my writing, criticize at will.
CARBONGRIND
Posts: 1
"Syphone/dreamcatcher"
Syphone my heart up through my chest, unfiltered it purges from my tear ducts. Wasted words and dreams we've all exchanged eventually turn to lies and dust. I lye awake trying to convince myself it's a dream... the world, this life, and everything around cannot be what it seems... Then, reality engulfs my every hope and all fades to a dull grey. Lost, my soul wanders through yet another hell. ...then, it all begins again.
"Dream Away"
Heaven is in my fingers, in my lips when I kiss and touch your body. My eyes are pouring out with envy of the precious being that lies before them. My heart is skipping beats as if it weren't occupied with the tune that it sings. All of this in a room of silence, spoken through touch... Cold turns this dream as I wake sour with spite and hurting inside this place that so yearns for your voice, your touch, your feelings, your you... Empty is this chamber inside my chest as it was only good for a dream at best.
--Don't kill me on grammar, just some thought poetry... may not be what you are used to, but I tend to only write anything when I feel down... any thoughts????
Syphone my heart up through my chest, unfiltered it purges from my tear ducts. Wasted words and dreams we've all exchanged eventually turn to lies and dust. I lye awake trying to convince myself it's a dream... the world, this life, and everything around cannot be what it seems... Then, reality engulfs my every hope and all fades to a dull grey. Lost, my soul wanders through yet another hell. ...then, it all begins again.
"Dream Away"
Heaven is in my fingers, in my lips when I kiss and touch your body. My eyes are pouring out with envy of the precious being that lies before them. My heart is skipping beats as if it weren't occupied with the tune that it sings. All of this in a room of silence, spoken through touch... Cold turns this dream as I wake sour with spite and hurting inside this place that so yearns for your voice, your touch, your feelings, your you... Empty is this chamber inside my chest as it was only good for a dream at best.
--Don't kill me on grammar, just some thought poetry... may not be what you are used to, but I tend to only write anything when I feel down... any thoughts????
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Comments
I tend to only write anything!
Feeling down tends to lead to poetry, doesn't it? It's such a great outlet for emotion! Keep emoting!