Slow Suicide - (I'm not on my side)

seekit
seekit Posts: 73
edited December 2003 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Slow Suicide (I’m not on my side)

She wakes up with cracks
in her head
another long night
she thought she had
Can't remember, black outs again.


A lady but not last night,
can’t remember like she lost her sight
Slow Suicide I’m not on my side,
why do these dying thoughts occupy?

Take another pill to adjust in the daylight,
time ticking in her head until her next flight
out of her head
out of her life.

Feels sympathy for the ones who have to live like this,
her small children
she makes up with a kiss –

Not present in her own time,
makes up lies
to makeup for her crimes –

Sick and slow she dresses she has to go,
shows up for work
fakes another day

Strands of insanity weave through her head;
hate this day I’ll show them instead-
Drinks like a lady, devil in disguise,
dangles the strings of a puppet
she willingly subscribes.

Tattoo of shame in her soul, painful pins stab
her existence this shit is taking a toll –

Rationalization is comfort, off she goes it’s a new day, promises to stay away from the devil for today.

Maybe she will find her way
out of tomorrow
and back from yesterday –

she wakes up again, can’t do it alone, I need that comfort I drink I’m home.

Slow suicide, I’m not on my side.

WHY?
Seek It
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • SleightOfHand562
    SleightOfHand562 Posts: 477
    heavy.
    There have been shows where maybe the whole first half of the show my eyes have been closed. and then you'll look out in the crowd and there'll be somebody totally lost in their head, in exactly the same place you're in. That, to me, is the essence of music

    ~Jeff Ament
  • seekit
    seekit Posts: 73
    sorry i don't mean to be.............so heavy............it just happend that way.....
    Seek It
  • tenaciousA
    tenaciousA Posts: 604
    seekit, be as heavy as you can, it's what seeking it is all about

    this writing's subject is superharsh
    i'm not judging
    but its author is

    and sometimes we need to judge ourselves so that we can grow

    and sometimes we need to stop judging ourselves so harshly so that we can heal


    much peace :)
    ~all is full of love~
  • ForeverAJammer
    ForeverAJammer Posts: 116
    Really good....I like the tone it captures..bad momas lol....keep up the good work..hope to hear more from you:)
    i miss you already...


  • Sound
    Sound Posts: 579
    Maybe she will find her way
    out of tomorrow
    and back from yesterday





    loved this one
    It was a dream, not a nightmare. A beautiful dream I could never imagined in a thousand nods. I saw this girl next to me, she wasn't beautiful until she smiled. And I felt that smile come at me in heat waves following. Soaking through my body and out my finger tips in shafts of color. And I knew somewhere in the world, somewhere, that there was love for me.

    Jim Carrol
  • sayang_annabel
    sayang_annabel Posts: 20
    i think its tres tres good too :) i sometimes write darker heavy stuff too- and i know what u mean when u say it just comes out like that. tis cool.
    and so castles made of sand fall in the sea eventually...
  • 20_layne_xien
    20_layne_xien Posts: 57
    that sounds really good.


    really really good....
    ...time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time...

    "breathe, breathe in the air...don't be afraid to care...leave but don't leave me...look around and choose your own ground...for long you live and high you fly...and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry...and all you touch and all you see...is all your life will ever be..."
  • Stolen Pencil420
    Stolen Pencil420 Posts: 119
    awesome poem...heavy yet beautiful
    "Trying to be a person you're not is a waste of the person you really are."- Kurt D. Cobain (R.I.P February 20, 1967- April 5, 1994, we love u Kurt)



  • myblood2
    myblood2 Posts: 74
    good shit seekit

    i love...

    shows up for work
    fakes another day
    .......
    Forever and ever ....Pearl Jam
    .......
  • Julijana
    Julijana Posts: 18
    Good poem.
    once you know
    you can never go back...

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