eat soap

Yellow

There's something a might bit hollow in your face
Yet where not, foaming with the rabidity of a sick old lion
Pacing, waiting for prey to look down at its untied shoe
Pacing and staggering and trying to look proud
Because you were once and you remember how it felt

cassia

what's the line....
'you oh yeh you're skin and bones...
turned into something beautiful'
?

and the lion remembers
deep into Serengeti nights
the hot breath
and
the strength of his own paws

~~coolplay wishes//

john girl

very good,



Soap really isn't good eating, my mom made me bite down on a bar for cursing when I was little kid, I remember spitting continuosly allover the bedroom floor, it was very trau/dramatic, but now it seems hysterical.

And I made a promise to her and myself I would not do that to my kids... I have fulfilled that promise, soap never cured me of a dirty mouth, and my children cuss each other out daily.

FinsburyParkCarrots

I can relate.

When I was about twelve, I asked my dad if I could have £20. He smiled and said yes, if I ate a bar of soap. So, in front of three witnesses, I ate the bar of soap. Then he smiled again, waved, and fucked off out somewhere. I never did get that twenty quid. Parents, huh?

john girl

he purposely set you up? Why do you think he held back?
Was it for kicks? Or some twisted lesson about money?

FinsburyParkCarrots

They only had four channels on TV in those days. We had to make our own entertainment.
I was playing along....the comic potential was obvious from the start...I sacrificed my appetite for art.

john girl

took advantage of your naivete. That's the mind set that some of those Reality for $ TV shows cater too.

For my soap, I at least got the pleasure of saying "Fuck" in earshot of Mom

FinsburyParkCarrots

I think the notion of deliberate, self-deprecatory humour and irony isn't a phenomenon that translates well across cultures; there's a puritanical streak in the proposition that a near-teenage kid has to be the naive "victim" when deliberately playing the dupe in an unfolding practical joke over asking for a preposterous amount of pocket money on a whim. Dad said, I'll give you the money if you eat a bar of soap. He didn't think I'd be such a mad little fucker as to do it. He wasn't obliged to pay up, now was he? You don't see PJ signing record contracts with "I promise to eat a bar of soap once every two years" as a subclause? No. He made a remark for a joke, and although I knew full well it was a joke I thought, fuck it, I'll eat a bar of soap...then he'll HAVE to give me £20. But when I'd done that, I think I scared the poor old sod! But for added comic effect, he couldn't really give me the money. I didn't need it....I just felt like asking.....
Everybody has enjoyed being dumb at times.... regardless of our worries about "dumbing down". "Dumbing down" is a small-c conservative idea. if we went around thinking we were Proust all the time, we'd never see anything in human nature worth documenting.
So wonderful, to me, is this topic of eating soap, which beats those conceits about the divine karma of some beetle with forty-six arms living in a tortoise shell on Mars.

john girl

regardless of that, it was the way you wrote about your "soap eating" that made me feel your Dad made you feel foolish.

But then again it is the perspective I come from when I read about, fathers,

I have serious "Father" issues, I learned the hard way, very young to be distrustful of mine...

And prior to that initial issue, He was the person I trusted the most. The body heals, but the shattering feeling of my first love, complete trust, it is THE piece of me that was pure, loss and essence.

I do not feel I was a victim, never have,
just the way that it is, things happen, it fucks you up a bit
it is over, learn and move on.

FinsburyParkCarrots

Sorry, john girl.

That word "Father" means different things to different people. I've been blessed to have such a funny, bright, generous old fucker for a Dad (bar the soap story!). He's 77 and a true force of nature; my mum's another bright star of equal exuberance.

Different people have different emotional triggers. I should have used my heart and been more sensitive to your spirit in recollection.

john girl

I think it is very cool that you have that with your folks.

I'll die a happy woman, if my two kiddies think as well of me, I think we are pretty close. As a mom, i'm learning as they are growing.


***
I think there is something to be learned from this dialogue, the reader's perception and the writer's description, minds can be from different worlds.

Just write from your heart, your feeling, your truth, your gut, whatever that is at the moment.

sevensins

Originally posted by Yellow
There's something a might bit hollow in your face
Yet where not, foaming with the rabidity of a sick old lion
Pacing, waiting for prey to look down at its untied shoe
Pacing and staggering and trying to look proud
Because you were once and you remember how it felt

wow......yah......good. me like alot.

DopeBeastie

a bump for pjmaine

PJfaninmaine

Thanks girlfriend, so true, so true. Lots of meaning in those words.

olderman

by the time i came about my parents were about as authoritative as wordsworth.. i cuss so much i embarass mice elf.. but i try not to cuss when i post bcz pj fans are very strict..

FancyFacade

thanks yellow.

FancyFacade

really like this.

exhale

Originally posted by john girl
But then again it is the perspective I come from when I read about, fathers,

I have serious "Father" issues, I learned the hard way, very young to be distrustful of mine...

And prior to that initial issue, He was the person I trusted the most. The body heals, but the shattering feeling of my first love, complete trust, it is THE piece of me that was pure, loss and essence.

I do not feel I was a victim, never have,
just the way that it is, things happen, it fucks you up a bit
it is over, learn and move on.

i read, and I see myself...