Ex-Wife's Wedding

EvilToasterElf

The Wedding of My Ex-Wife

I pull off a copper striped necktie and slam it
into the large oak bar. It was as if the fabric
had rusted through my sternum and corroded
my lungs like a winter beaten muffler.

I order three shots of Jack Daniels and
pound them down my throat one after another,
chasing the chips of the oxidized tie through my
bowels. And I see them floating in
crude oil whiskey sinking to the bottom of my
bloodstream. I shake my head quickly,

hoping to eliminate the aftertaste
of the drink,
and the pictures in my head. Leaving room
in that dark attic to wonder
whether we are more human when ideas
string together in strands of Christmas tree lights

or when the lights are unplugged and all that
shows is a blank smile on the other side of our face. I flip
a ten dollar bill out of my wallet and return
to my table slowly. I stare at the bride’s table, that rectangle
filled with romantic thoughts. She looks perfect up there,
with sun-streaked

red hair that coils into her soft shoulders, and a tight white dress
wrapped around her frame, like some Hollywood starlet
of smiling immortality. She glances
at me with her green eyes and 100 tiny crystal bells chime all

around me. And as my dark space
fills
with pictures of tiny bells hanging from my ribcage,
struck by every expansion of my diaphragm
I hear the suited multitude shouting, “Toast!”

justam

I like this one.

Yellow

me too

EvilToasterElf

that's the only reason pens ever hit paper. thanks guys

This forum was long overdue

CranMalReign

Or Forever Hold Your Peace: A Dedication to My First and Only True Love
June 17, 1999

The air is warm,
Moist,
Full of breath and perspiration,
With the sun gently glittering
Through the stained glass.

A slight creaking
As someone shifts to one side
And a crying baby
Momentarily divert my attention
From the classic proceedings before me.

How could I forget
The moments we've shared?
My soul:
It's yours
And I can still claim yours
As my own

We've grown so close
In the past years.
You and I,
We've meshed,
And for that, I'm thankful.

"We are gathered here today..."
I've heard it all before
On television shows
And in the movies,
"To join these two..."
It's so cliché.
Hurry!
Please hurry,
To the part for which I've been waiting
Too long!
"In holy matrimony."
On he drones,
The ambassador
To a faith I have no faith in,
In a church I've never worshipped in,
With people I've never met.
On he drones.

"To love and to cherish..."
Everyone knows this bit,
Get on with it!
"'Till death do you part?"
Still not there yet.
Please hurry!
On he drones.

Now I'm getting nervous.
It's almost time.
My palms are sweating,
My knees are shaking.
It's almost time...
Almost...
Almost...

It's time.

He smiles,
Looks up from his Good Book,
"If anyone objects to the joining of these two..."

I rise to my feet,
I catch my breath.
A stunned silence
Is deafening.
The hundreds of glaring eyes
Burn me.
I look around at all the faces:
All are shocked,
Though some more so than others.
A few smiles strengthen me
While a hundred frowns pound me into a shell of compliance.
But it's much too late to go back now.
Besides,
I have no peace to hold.

BhagavadGita

please go on!

FinsburyParkCarrots

Damned fine stuff on this thread.

cassia

.

puremagic

EvilToasterElf, that was nice, sad, painful, but really nice.

EvilToasterElf

Thankyou for the thoughtful critique Cassia, but I'm not sure I like the images to come off that quickly, rather keeping the length of the lines enforcing the wandering shiftless quality of the poem's protagonist.

There are doubtless line breaks that could be changed, and will be, no poem stays the same for long as I'm sure you know, but I don't think I would sacrifice the style to enhance the music of it

CranMalReign

Originally posted by EvilToasterElf
Thankyou for the thoughtful critique Cassia, but I'm not sure I like the images to come off that quickly, rather keeping the length of the lines enforcing the wandering shiftless quality of the poem's protagonist.

There are doubtless line breaks that could be changed, and will be, no poem stays the same for long as I'm sure you know, but I don't think I would sacrifice the style to enhance the music of it

Here here. Sometimes it behooves a poem the be slower, drawn out, or awkward. Personifies that particular mood more.

Just my 2 pence.

depopulationINC

EvilToasterElf wrote:

The Wedding of My Ex-Wife

I pull off a copper striped necktie and slam it
into the large oak bar. It was as if the fabric
had rusted through my sternum and corroded
my lungs like a winter beaten muffler.

I order three shots of Jack Daniels and
pound them down my throat one after another,
chasing the chips of the oxidized tie through my
bowels. And I see them floating in
crude oil whiskey sinking to the bottom of my
bloodstream. I shake my head quickly,

hoping to eliminate the aftertaste
of the drink,
and the pictures in my head. Leaving room
in that dark attic to wonder
whether we are more human when ideas
string together in strands of Christmas tree lights

or when the lights are unplugged and all that
shows is a blank smile on the other side of our face. I flip
a ten dollar bill out of my wallet and return
to my table slowly. I stare at the bride’s table, that rectangle
filled with romantic thoughts. She looks perfect up there,
with sun-streaked

red hair that coils into her soft shoulders, and a tight white dress
wrapped around her frame, like some Hollywood starlet
of smiling immortality. She glances
at me with her green eyes and 100 tiny crystal bells chime all

around me. And as my dark space
fills
with pictures of tiny bells hanging from my ribcage,
struck by every expansion of my diaphragm
I hear the suited multitude shouting, “Toast!”

uberific......

EvilToasterElf

depopulationINC wrote:

uberific......

You must have been delving deep into the old pages to bring this one back. Thanks for the read, it's actually been changed around quite abit somewhere in the big thread if you're this bored again sometime soon.