If Coleridge Had the Millenium Bug....

EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
edited January 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
And was a student named Steve Wheat at Binghamton University - Kublai Khan might have sounded a little something like this...


The Last Descendent of Kubla Khan

In Binghamton did Steven Wheat
A swingin’ Bach’lor pad decree
Where Alf the 80’s hero, ran
Through channels measureless to man
On a zenith TV
So twice five feet of messy ground
With beer and raman were laying round:
And there were fridges bright with expired dills
Where blossomed many a nasty smelling leak
And here was laundry ancient as the hills
Covering old mags of pornography

But oh! That deep pedantic closet which slanted
Down the white wall athwart a plastic cover!
A ravaged place! As holy and demented
As e’er within a simpson’s toon was flaunted
By co-eds flailing for their pork-chop-lover!
And from the classroom, with painful boredom leaving
As if this university were teething
A mighty kegger momentarily was forced
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Ping-pong balls vaulted like holy grails
Or sinking ships beneath alcoholic gails
And ‘mid these dancing cups at once and ever
It flung up momentarily the sacred river
Five men meandering with a hazy motion
Through couch and chair the yellow river ran
Then reached the bathroom odorless to man
And sank in one flush to a lifeless ocean
And ‘mid this tumult Steve heard from the bar
Fraternity voices coming with more coors

The aroma of the drunken pleasure
Floated midway through the rave
Where was heard a techno treasure
With him spinning the party’s saved
It was a turntable of rare device
A sorority came with bags of ice!
A brunette with a tank top shirt
In the kitchen I once saw
It was a Staten Island maid
And on a tabletop she played
Dancing with other girls
Could I revive my kidney
From being drunk so long
That such a hangover ‘twould win me’
That my head felt like a gong
I would build my pad in air,
That smelly home! Those raves of vice!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, What should I wear!
His bloodshot eyes, his matted hair!
And close your eyes while in his bed,
For he to many girls hath said,
That college is a Paradise.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • It's probably hard to understand this if you've never read the original of which it parodies, so here's a link

    http://notes.utk.edu/bio/greenberg.nsf/0/6bd0e8ca4dbc492185256c77001ae683?OpenDocument
  • YellowYellow Posts: 699
    toaster: 1
    understanding college: 0











    But you left out you and your friend
    petting a big furry dude who looks like a St. Bernard
    at 3:00 am


    ;D
    It's all yellow.


  • Beer - Music - Sex - and messy rooms - it's all there
  • YellowYellow Posts: 699
    i've danced on carpet so wet with beer you could actually splash your partner



    i wore shoes :)
    It's all yellow.


  • there's the beginning of a poem right there

    inspiration always comes from the most unlikely sources
  • YellowYellow Posts: 699
    too funny :)




    you gonna write it or do you want me to?


    lol...
    It's all yellow.


  • well you're the one who danced in beer like some bizarre mating ritual
  • YellowYellow Posts: 699
    i once danced in carpet so wet with beer you could splash your partner

    i wore shoes

    i went with a friend who knew somebody so fine you could check your look in the shine of his teeth

    i don't remember who she was
    nor had we graduated high school

    we hung around the keg thinking we'd get kicked out and watched the newly donned "adults" do their thing, stack empty kegs on the porch, yap yapping some nonsense to one another as loudly as they could...

    everyone abruptly left when the keg died except we two, and a couple of guys wearing AC/DC in red on their shirts

    damn, who was that girl?
    It's all yellow.


  • phishgodphishgod Posts: 133
    Wow ETF--
    Binghamton & Coleridge in the same piece, who'd a thunk it...okay
    one of my best professional buddies is Director of Transportation Planning for the County in Binghamton, I promise not to tell him what's going on in his part of town, if you promise to never tell him a thing I ever post on this board. Deal?
    Since you scribed this one, I think I'll put up my Celine & Tripping Daisy piece up, just for fun...
    rockon,
    phishgod
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