Help From the Board

EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
edited January 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
I'm handing in a portfolio for my next class this week - I figure I'll give em to the board to see if you guys can catch anything I missed - good hunting to you...

1. The Creature from the Beer Lagoon

After the third Sam Adams
I had to take a piss in
a cold white bathroom.
I stared down at my hairy
knuckles, thinking “I’m
a fucking werewolf stuck
in a moonless night.”

Some thug won’t need a silver
bullet to stop me, a Louisville
slugger would do the trick. My
bar tab rose with my BAC to
the point where I could breathe fire,
a nice trick to flag down a cab
that I couldn’t pay for.

So I stumbled for ten minutes
to get home instead, and the
echoes of my own steps fed my
beer induced paranoia of some
shadowy assailant, but at least
I had my salvation army clothes
on. Maybe he’d believe I had no
money for him
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • 2. leftovers

    my destiny sits between
    two slices of bread in
    a half eaten bologna sandwich
    trapped behind an empty
    jug of apple cider

    piled in front are my
    mashed potato poems
    in a tupperware square
    with a blue lid which is
    pinned under my sister’s
    crying bowl of peas, garnished
    with a second place medal
    in the 400 meter relay

    fantasies of epic verse
    crescendo in a squarish
    piece of aluminum foil
    from a two week old
    second helping of tri-tip
    steak, which was overcooked

    a broken finger which
    stole my baseball career
    was piled under stuffing
    preventing my curveball from
    slipping out of the strike
    zone, and the bastard
    took it over the left field wall

    my father’s retirement fund
    wades through cranberry sauce
    sinking in coagulated slush,
    like the shores of new jersey
    so far from his beloved
    caribbean beaches

    a spot shines on a grandfather
    of a turkey leg, slowly dissolving
    the meat into a hard inoperable
    growth, not fit for the dog
    we threw it in the incinerator
    where the ashes scattered over
    mounds of garbage
  • 3. She’s come undone

    as dusk enfolded the trail
    she climbed, until starlight melded with the
    canopy, severing flashlight spectrums,
    reaching into the sky, curving
    into silver coils that bathe bare oak limbs
    and her foggy breath became memories
    of skinny suburban kids playing under sprinklers
    camping in backyard sing a’ longs
    chanting guns and roses to sliding glass doors
    where smiling parents swelled with lemonade
    waiting for children’s dreams to reach murky fruition
    in college dorm rooms, energized with confusing hormones
    slaves to unknown thoughts that cling
    like beer stains to white tee-shirts, before
    professional entropy gripped that cubicle of the mind
    singing in the shower to sold out crowds of
    imagined audiences, screaming her name to
    the rafters for encores, in voices that rose and
    fell to the stage, rolling like quiet waves at
    a vacation getaway, dancing in the air, like
    the five pointed oak leaves that glide,
    playfully to the grass,
    outside her window.
  • 4. Nothing

    Everything depends
    On a brown cardboard box
    Spotted with mold
    Surrounded by dust and sunlight
    Beside a collection
    Of classic Playboys

    Everything depends
    On a small graph
    Swallowing Cartesian coordinates
    Sloping and curving
    Establishing trajectory
    For a small box
    100 million miles away
    that’s already crashed
  • Oops posted nothing twice
  • 6. The Wedding of My Ex-Wife

    I pull off a copper striped necktie and slam it
    into the large oak bar. It was as if the fabric
    had rusted through my sternum and corroded
    my lungs like a winter beaten muffler.

    I order three shots of Jack Daniels and
    pound them down my throat one after another,
    chasing the chips of the oxidized tie through my
    bowels. And I see them floating in
    crude oil whiskey sinking to the bottom of my
    bloodstream. I shake my head quickly,

    hoping to eliminate the aftertaste
    of the drink,
    and the pictures in my head. Leaving room
    in that dark attic to wonder
    whether we are more human when ideas
    string together in strands of Christmas tree lights

    or when the lights are unplugged and all that
    shows is a blank smile on the other side of our face. I flip
    a ten dollar bill out of my wallet and return
    to my table slowly. I stare at the bride’s table, that rectangle
    filled with romantic thoughts. She looks perfect up there,
    with sun-streaked

    red hair that coils into her soft shoulders, and a tight white dress
    wrapped around her frame, like some Hollywood starlet
    of smiling immortality. She glances
    at me with her green eyes and 100 tiny crystal bells chime all

    around me. And as my dark space
    fills
    with pictures of tiny bells hanging from my ribcage,
    struck by every expansion of my diaphragm
    I hear the suited multitude shouting, “Toast!”
  • 7. Vacuuming

    When we were finished she rolled over
    and fell immediately asleep. My maroon
    cotton sheets separating her naked body
    from my sweat covered eyes, which

    formed tears, like those forced from peeled
    onions. Was it that bad?
    “No,” she said, “It’s just like vacuuming.”
    It’s not the size that counts I thought, it’s
    how you vacuum. From that night on

    all I can think about during sex is my
    penis rolling around the carpet, picking
    up dirt, but my room’s still always a mess.
    Were my kisses just dustbusters? My backrubs
    a lint brush?

    When we grinded to Sean Paul, or Cisco all
    I could think about was a night of passion with
    me, her, and my 8 pound Orec. It fits under the bed
    when you’re done, no bags, no mess.
    So now I’ve moved on, onto tiled bathrooms and a
    hardwood foyer and living room.
    I figure when I get old enough, all I’ll be doing
    is mopping anyway.
  • 8. 24 Hour Supercenter

    minivans speed down aisle after aisle
    half blinded by a 2 PM sun, searching

    for an empty rectangle, outlined
    b
    y
    bright, monotonous yellow lines

    before they’ve even stepped in the door
    a red caravan cuts off a Dodge neon
    rusted, its single occupant a retired woman
    in a plum dress
    “Damn it!” she yells to an empty passenger side
    to the ghost of a husband beaten by lung cancer and Jack Daniels
    and the shadows of two grown up children, fleeing the scene of
    a crime, abusive parenting
    so that an overweight, overwhelmed mother
    can pile her 4 children, sweatpants and payless shoes
    out of the van, mullets are still not dead here
    the building is monumental, it has multiple entrances, and
    lawnmowers, go-karts wrapped in chains, and garden blocks
    lay outside the utilitarian frame of the store
    but once inside
    two old men greet me with genuine smiles
    one with thick red frames, one with thick black
    the glasses compliment the blue vest
    the ageless motto of the salesman plastered
    on the back of cheap uniforms
    “How may i help you?”
    plaid is the dress code here
    they can’t sell self-esteem, that’s not something you can
    bring home on sale, it’s only to be found in the company of the clientele
    here
    such a mingling,
    a smartly dressed blonde woman in her 30’s,
    fairly successful
    wearing the kind of shoes that sting hard surfaces
    begging eyes to stare at her legs, and rise to the seams
    of her tight jeans, drawing attention to
    a body toned by gym membership
    “Attention shoppers, want to beat the holiday rush? Apply now for a supersavers credit card and get a free porcelain snowman, care of your 24 hour supercenter.”
    she averts her glance from a local folk, holding hands with his young son, wearing
    green camo pants and battered black boots, he smiles genuinely to her
    backside, lowering his gaze to her ass, revealing gaps in his teeth.
    4 college guys stroll by, laughing about how much
    they’d drunk last night, none of the clothes
    they wear have or will ever touch a display at Wal-Mart, they
    went to the electronics section to pick up some DVD’s
    i get to the food section, the cold cereal
    aisle and look back, three quarters of a mile away lies
    the auto care center
    such a meaningless destination,
    thousands of men died
    to gain less distance at the Somme
    I can see the brigades charge over the trenches of DVD racks
    dodging under the barbed wire Christmas tree lights
    avoiding the machine gun nest in arts and crafts, hidden behind a wall
    of felt
    men and boys are cut down by hails of helpful rhetoric from employees
    and exploding shopping carts
    countless athletes have sustained lifelong injuries
    to move a ball half that distance
    driving through the defensive line of specially priced bean bag chairs
    the quarterback rolls back to sporting goods, and fires a rifle, straight to his
    wide receiver in the autocare zone, where he’s tackled hard by a employee
    past his prime
    a sniper may have been this far from Kennedy,
    cruising down lingerie with his top down
    while a scope held his head like a newborn child from dinnerware
    what do the Cat in the Hat, a bright green frog, toucan sam, tony the tiger, dexter’s laboratory, Winnie the pooh, a leprechaun, and scoobie doo have in common?
    one third of your child’s meals and 0% of their nutrition
    i tried a free sample of Finlandia Swiss Cheese
    there was a choice of low-fat or regular
    “The Swiss should stick to watches and banking” i muttered
    to the elderly woman, seemingly happy to be out of the house
    “I’m a cheddar man myself”
    “Oh well, at least you tried something new” she seemed to push
    the words through her teeth by some ventriloquist’s willpower
    as i walk through the frozen foods section
    i hear a small child scream “I want ice-cream”
    the mother looks around the store and sternly
    says “No!” and in a lowered voice and even
    harsher tone says “Be quiet! You’re embarrassing me!”
    the child stops for a moment and i turn around
    stopping suddenly to avoid being crushed by the full
    cart of a large woman in black leather, black jeans, and
    black shoes, who inaudibly mouths “excuse me” after she passes
    i take a left down an aisle containing
    “box dinners” and “international”
    as i walk from Hamburger Helper to Tacos and
    barilla pasta, i hear the same pleading voice asking
    for potato chips the next aisle over
    continuing my malaise down the next aisle i
    see the woman rear back and smack
    the child across the face
    my mind blares like the loudspeaker that has been announcing
    “extra special” deals
    we have a spill on aisle nine, moral leak on aisle nine, Fred can you get
    a mop, this one’s a doozy
    as i pass intimate apparel i see an large blonde woman, of German or
    Austrian descent, she looks like my grandmother, but she doesn’t
    wear a name tag, her vest, obviously an older version, is faded where her ample
    stomach sticks out, says “We make all the difference”
    in the electronics section a compilation of 102 Bible Songs sells for $4.99
    pop music is marked down to 12 dollars from 14 or 16
    DMX’s new cd is sold in censored form, even song titles have to be censored
    F#ck that must by annoying
    next door is the sporting goods section
    to the array of different urines meant to attract deer
    does doe, raccoon, or fox urine attract customers more efficiently?
    i am reminded of a game my friends and i used to play
    on long car rides, or hikes in
    the woods, we’d name three of the most random things
    we could think of that
    can be purchased at the same store
    Finlandia Swiss Cheese, A Compilation of Bible Songs, and Raccoon Urine
    finally I’ve crossed the belly of the beast and arrived at the auto care section
    which required a crow’s nest to see a half hour before
    i arrive at a section of the store filled with more employees than customers
    the toy section is colorful but empty, not so much as a whisper of a single excited kid
    but a shrill scream can be heard originating from somewhere near the pet section
    they have no real pets there, just goldfish and pet food
    the cosmetics section is filled with college girls
    shopping in plain gray pajamas
    there are no possible hook-ups here, no blaring hip-hop
    no body shots and kegstands here
    but they raise their noses at me anyway, in my blue jeans
    and salvation army button down shirt
    nobody under 60 stands under the bright blue RX sign
    they look sad and overwhelmed
    buckling under the weight of their own life prolonging
    prescriptions
    walking parallel to the entrance are the mini-businesses
    Hairstylists
    Vision Center
    “Regal Nails”
    Arcade
    Portrait Studio
    “Auntie Anne’s Pretzels”
    and the Radio Grill
    near the far entrance, the side nearest the groceries
    is nestled the “Radio Grill” a floor of polished
    checkerboard with blue banners and pictures of
    rollerskate waitresses, black and white blown up
    photos of 50’s cars. The throwback decorations
    are cheap, the food is bad
    It would be better to walk to aisle 3, buy a tv dinner, and
    plug in a microwave at electronics and make a meal
    check out lanes run down the length of the
    store over 30 in all
    the final hurdle between coveting and owning
    a loud beep sounds to register the bar code
    of all the items being bought. Echoed by the
    monotone of tired cashiers with nothing but
    the unattractive masses to cater to
    black semi-transparent bubbles, dart out of the ceiling
    every few meters, they reflect shapes and movement
    ostensibly they contain cameras, watching the motions
    of both customer and employee
    but most people know more than half of them are empty,
    just a small deterrent
    they hang like crude oil raindrops sprayed onto
    the leaves of some endangered Venezuelan plant
    too proud to fall and soak into the wet soil
    in “Regal Nails” a family of young Asians toil, men
    And women inhaling fumes and chemicals for
    2 bucks a nail
    every other aisle of the parking lot has two spaces
    “Reserved for expectant mothers” with a picture
    of a thin stork on the sign
    he certainly wasn’t dropping the kids in the toy section
    on the way back to my car i pass
    a dark blue van, a Chevrolet express
    no driver, in the passenger seat sits a red haired
    girl of about 14 reading a book and 3 younger
    boys scream from the back
    abandoned to evil doers and good Samaritans
    walking the parking lot, towing their gods in carts
    wrapped in paper or plastic
    staring skyward, waiting for a rainbow, or a comet,
    or dick clark with a giant check to fall
    as i pulled out I noticed behind me
    two women in sitting in a red Ford F-150
    with a red handicap display hanging from
    the rearview mirror and a fly-guard stating
    “Praise the Lord”
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    The Walmart one was long, but not dull.
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • I give you an............

    A

    All
    Are
    Axcellent

    I liked Vacuuming and Leftovers the best.
    How big does your portfolio have to be?
    "Nothing" sounds like a parody of William Carlos Williams' The Red Wheelbarrow. Was that the goal? In one of my writing classes, we had to write a parody of This Is Just To Say

    Mine went something like:

    I have stabbed
    your mother
    in the head

    with the cutlery set
    she got
    for our wedding.

    Please forgive me.
    It wasn't the set I wanted.
  • BhagavadGitaBhagavadGita Posts: 1,748
    Originally posted by Radar(Baba)O'Riley
    I give you an............

    A

    All
    Are
    Axcellent

    I liked Vacuuming and Leftovers the best.
    How big does your portfolio have to be?
    "Nothing" sounds like a parody of William Carlos Williams' The Red Wheelbarrow. Was that the goal? In one of my writing classes, we had to write a parody of This Is Just To Say

    Mine went something like:

    I have stabbed
    your mother
    in the head

    with the cutlery set
    she got
    for our wedding.

    Please forgive me.
    It wasn't the set I wanted.


    GOD! you make me laugh and
































    i love you.
  • Nothing is a parody actually and we must have been using the same anthology because we also wrote parodies for that poem - thanks everyone
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